First Week
of Camp 6/2013
-
-
I went to camp (Camp Goodtimes) the camp for
kids with cancer and their siblings.
Scott and I pulled up to
the ferry and heard a little beep.
Right behind us was Matt.
His camp name is Kodiak.
Kathryn gave him this name.
I wonder what name she would have given me or did she whisper in
Rocksie’s ear and had her give me the name Flower? This was a day of saying hi to people and meeting new
people. One of the new ladies said
she heard that Kathryn (Panda) was quite the force here at Camp and all I could
say is yes she was.
Saturday I went to camp again and helped pull ribbon through
all of the nametags. That’s 400 or
more nametags. Scott had taken
them all home the night before and drilled the holes in them. He likes to help out and there always
seems to be a special need that he can fill. That evening I sat out on the front porch and designed my
new nametag. It was really great to see all of the Panda t-shirts at camp too!
Sunday I went to camp with Griss and Polar. This is Matt’s Mom (Nancy) and sister
(Katie). Remember Matt was Kathryn’s
boyfriend at the time of her passing.
Polar had just had her knee operated on. Well two days after I had my hip done. So the two of us were both gimpy. Griss and Polar had put together a
great gift for the kids at camp in Panda’s (Kathryn) honor. As the campers came in we asked their
shoe size and even had some shoes out for them to try on. The gift was a pair of water shoes in a
brightly colored mess backpack and a card explaining Kathryn’s story and that
this gift was in her honor. The
front of the card was a drawing of Kathryn’s and there was a little panda pin
attached to the card. It was
really cool to see the panda pins on the nametag ribbons of the staff and
campers. As the kids came through
the line I saw the Mom from the wine auction that did this years speech. She is a great lady. I also saw a young lady who was
attending Mary Bridge functions at the same time we were. She has been coming to camp for a long
time. It was good to see her Mom
and Dad. By the end of the day I
went by the Arts and Crafts shed and there it was. The Kathryn “Panda” Bradley plaque hanging high and proud
above the shed. It made me smile J
Sunday night I watched the Long Island Medium. The show had a woman who really wanted
to know if she had made all of the right decisions for her mother as she cared
for her into her death and decisions after her death. She was assured she did make all of the right decisions and
her mother sent the message that her hands were tied and she really didn’t have
any choices. I often wonder about
our choices for Kathryn. But I know
they were all made from the love we had in our hearts for her so they must have
been the right decisions. I really
don’t think I would do anything differently. Our trip to Houston gave her Thanksgiving, her Christmas
Party and one final family Christmas even if it was in January. Theresa (the medium) also had a mole
removed and expressed her fear of it being cancer. That word is scary but it can be beaten. It wasn’t cancer so she was fine.
Monday Scott and I went out to camp to finalize the
shoes. We ran short of some of the
sizes and had to gather up a few before we could hand them all out. We filled the boxes (one for each
cabin) with the final shoes and made sure they would all get passed out that
afternoon. When we got to the
neighborhood Scott and I traded seats and I drove the rest of the way
home. It was easier than I thought
it would be.
My neighbors left for trip but dropped a card off for me
first. It was from the children of
a private school. They are called
the Saint Frances Cabrini Band of Angels.
Each child made a heart and colored it. Each child had a fingerprint in the card and made it into a
face. We had received this same
type of card and hearts for Kathryn.
I looked it up online and wrote to the teacher thanking her and most of
all thanking her for teaching her students compassion. I didn’t know at that time that my
neighbor was some how connected but now I do.
Tuesday the 25th was our 30th
anniversary. We did a little
shopping early in the day. I drove
but had Scott drive home. Later we
went out to dinner and had a nice relaxing time. Scott bought me a ring (very pretty). It is a pink heart shaped sapphire with
diamonds surrounding it. He gave
that to me in the morning. At
dinner he gave me another card and gift.
He said that while at the store buying the ring Kathryn spoke to him and
told him to get this particular necklace.
It is white gold and a heart with mother child figures inside of the
heart. He said he didn’t come up
with the words in the card that he wrote.
He just started writing and the words came from Kathryn. He was just the scribe. It was beautiful and as I read it the
tears flowed. He said he really
cried too as he wrote it. Wow, what
can I say? On the way home I
practiced driving.
On Wednesday I
had our carpets cleaned by our favorite carpet guy Josh. We only let him clean our carpets. He is a very nice young man. His Dad developed prostrate cancer
about the time Kathryn was being treated.
So we had something in common.
He was wearing his blue bracelet for his Dad. After Josh was done I left for camp. Richard and Bee were leading something
new at camp. It was a sib
shop. An activity for the siblings
of the cancer patients. It was
received so well. They had way
more kids than they expected. You
see the kids had to opt out of their regular camp activity to participate. I met the lady from Children’s who runs
the sib shops there. Her name is
Ursula. She doesn’t look like an
Ursula. Very nice lady and willing
to help Richard and Bee with this project.
Thursday I met with a new yearbook rep. He came to my house since I didn’t know
if I would be able to drive at that time.
Well, I’m not supposed to be driving until I am 6 weeks out. This day my body said stop. I lay on the couch and fell asleep and
just kept doing this all day. I
slept so much that I thought I would not be able to sleep that night. I was wrong I slept great! I just needed to rest so my body could heal. I also heard from Rebecca (Rowan’s
Mom). Her email made me feel as
though she is doing a little better.
I had sent her a framed picture of Rowan and myself at her 4th
birthday party that was in October of 2012. I knew it would create tears but I also hoped it would bring
up good memories of how happy Rowans was that day and even the next day as she
showed me all of her presents.
Rebecca plans to do some volunteer work to give back to those who helped
them. I thought that was a good
idea. Staying busy is important
and doing something that helps others is great. Rowans’ Dad, Chuck will be going back to work too. So, they are planning for their future
and this makes me feel good. Before
going to bed I stood in the upstairs hallway that over looks the entry. I was thinking about Kathryn and then
the light flickered. I guess
Kathryn was letting me know she is there.
I thanked her.
I don’t remember what day it was this past week but we
watched Dateline or a show like that about the boy who had a successful face
transplant. The first full face
transplant ever. It was an amazing
story. What hit me hard was when the
donor’s mother said how her son was still warm and alive when she said good-bye. That must have bee so hard. They did such an amazing thing to save
so many others too by donating their son’s organs. I still wish we would have had them take out Kathryn’s final
tumor to study. It just didn’t cross
my mind at the time and by time it did it was too late.
Friday our Cutco guy came by to sharpen our knives. We had quite the visit. I told him about Kathryn, as he hadn’t
been here in a couple of years. I
also bought something for Richard.
We each shared stories and had a nice visit. I did a little yard work today. Found that I could only do a little and then rest was
needed. But it felt good to get
out in the yard.
Saturday I made a goal to get a certain amount of yard work
done and I did. Felt good! Richard and Bee came over from camp and
spent the night. It was nice to
relax and chat with them. Richard
asked about using out cabin and bunkhouse for sibling ski weekend. Both Scott and I thought we could work
that out. We discussed some of the
rules and how we might make this work.
I love having Richard and Bee here.
Sunday (June 30th) Bee and I went shopping. I drove and did just fine
shopping. Did have to ice my leg
when I got home. Shopping with Bee
made me think of shopping with Kathryn.
We shopped for the great deals and only bought sale items. We didn’t plan on spending this much
time shopping but that I what girls do.
Bee said, “It’s a good thing Richard didn’t come with us.” I had to agree. Bee also picked up her I-Pad at the
Apple Store. Richard, Scott and I
had given her a gift certificate for this for graduation. We went from the mall to Fred Meyers
and shopped there for flowers and wine for dinner. The wine was a gift for Scott’s Aunt and Uncle since they
were having us over for dinner that evening. Richard loves going there for dinner because Auntie Carol is
such great cook. It was a lovely
evening and I practiced driving with the clutch when we got to the
neighborhood. Richard said I could
even drive his car since the clutch in his car is very soft and easy. Why not the truck? Richard and Bee took it to Bellingham
for moving.
In conversation with Bee on Sunday she told me that all of
the girls were in love with Kodiak (Matt). Then she told them how Matt learned about camp and why he
started coming to camp. It was all
because of Kathryn. The girls all
gave that caring voice, as they all knew Panda and loved her. They thought it was so sweet that
Kodiak came to camp because of her.
He is a nice boy and I’m not surprised that the older girls all have
crushes on him. After all Kathryn
only picked the best. She was
really worried about having a relationship with Matt after being diagnosed. I know she was concerned for his
feelings and his heart. She had
seen another friend of hers lose his girlfriend to cancer just a year or two
before. She didn’t want Matt to
suffer the loss like her friend had.
So I think I will end her on Monday (July 1st)
with something I heard on TV. Why
do these things pop up on the TV or radio just when you need them is beyond
me. You can handle all things in
life if you believe in God. God
doesn’t give us more than we can handle.
If you can change it then change it but if you can’t believe you can
handle it. If you don’t believe
you can handle it you will get weaker and weaker. God has given Scott, Richard, Bee, My Mom, Matt, Rebecca,
Chuck and me a great deal to handle.
But we will deal with it and find strength. We all have faith and we all have God in our hearts. We will live life and one day meet our
loved ones in Heaven.
