About Me

Kathryn Bradley was born on 2/5/91 and given a Hawaiian name Kahiwalani meaning "Gift From Heaven" She has been a special gift from the day she was born.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Simple Things June 21, 2013


Simple Things June 21st

Enjoying the simple things in life.  This is Friday the 14th of June and I just got my staples out from my hip surgery.  Tomorrow I will be able to take a real shower.  One of those simple things in life.  I will shave my legs and that will feel great.  I remember the smile and how happy Kathryn was to get home from the hospital and soak in a real warm bath.  I shaved her legs and she was so happy as she rubbed her hand up and down her legs to feel the smooth skin.  I will never forget that moment.  It was a simple thing but it made her so happy.

Friday night I also stopped by the Relay for Life of Tacoma.  My co-workers and friends had 2 sites for that our kids from school.  One site is for them to hang out in and the other is where they sell Wired and Cascade Ice for fundraising.  When I was doing it I let them take it over the Wired and Cascade Ice site and now they are on their own.  The kids love it and seem to have a good time.  They also raise more money to help support research for a cure.  Kathryn was my partner in this when we started it back in about 2007.  We were the X-Passion Team.  I have several pictures of her working the booth.  We have always enjoyed the Relay and it’s purpose.  Maybe next year I will get more involved again.  I also ran into some friends from the past.  They were parents of a young girl (now 15) who was treated at Mary Bridge.  They participated on the Mary Bridge Relay Team when I was the captain.  Their little girl Riley helped us win the baton competition one year.  I had made stuffed sea animals and each child from Mary Bridge had decorated one.  Our theme was “No More Chemo” and it was tided with Finding Nemo.  I made a fish and each one of the scales had a name of one of the children being treated or formally treated at Mary Bridge.  Riley was so cute in explaining that the scales represented her friends from Mary Bridge, some that were still alive and some that had died.  I think she was all of 7 at the time.  She did a beautiful job.  Very heart-wrenching when it came from a small child.  I was glad to see them and shared that Kathryn had passed away.  I think they were shocked since the last time they saw Kathryn she was happy, healthy and running around like a normal teenager.  Hard to believe that drastic change happened.  Again, simple things in life that go by unappreciated by many.

We had some beautiful bags for Kathryn too.  I also made one to honor several of the children that have passed due to cancer.  My friend Keith (from work) made a darling bag too.  He does such a nice job!

As I walk up the stairs in our house very carefully I think about how Kathryn walked up them with such courage.  She held the rail with both hands to help pull herself up.  She tried so hard to be strong and to bring her strength back.  I too walked up the stairs in this same fashion my first few days after surgery.  But I will recover and now almost do the stairs normally. 

Kathryn would also practice walking taking the loop around the house (entry-living room-dining room to kitchen and on to the family room).  I have done this same loop hoping to get stronger just like Kathryn did.  Practicing and keeping those muscles moving and strong.  As I take my loop I think of Kathryn working so hard to gain her strength and doing her best to gain back her mobility.  She did a great job.  She was mobile until we came home from the hospital on Jan 19th.  Walking is a simple gift.  Being independent is a simple gift too.  Don’t take either for granted.  I remember my Dad telling me one time, “You know it has been over a year since I have driven.”  I know that was so hard for him to lose that ability.  So hard for an independent person to become dependent on others for everything.  Kathryn never complained about not driving.  She stopped driving in the fall of 2011.  About October.  I think she knew that her leg didn’t work well enough to go from the gas to the brake to be safe.  I’m in that situation right now too.  But I know that my leg will return to normal and I will drive again.  Both Kathryn and my Dad had no guarentees.  Such a simple gift to be able to drive.  To have the independents to go where you want when you want.  It’s frustrating not to have that independence.  But I tell you Kathryn never complained.  She only asked me to drive smooth and slow after treatments.   

I have a lot of numbness in my leg.  It really bugs me.  It and my knee being sore are the only things keeping me form walking completely normal.  I think about how that numbness bugs me I think once again about Kathryn.  Her face had become numb feeling.  The right side.  I know it really bothered her but there was nothing we could do for it.  It may have been the tumor or the steroids that stretched her little face.  I don’t know what caused the numbness but I do know I felt helpless to help her with this.  I did my best to encourage her.  Her doctor couldn’t do anything for it either.  You know when you have nothing to fix it what do you say?  I’m once again lucky to feel that my leg will return to normal.  Well, there is a chance that it won’t but I believe it will.  Even if it doesn’t I can deal with it. 

So many similarities to Kathryn’s situation makes me believe that I had this surgery for this very reason.  God put me in this situation because he knows that I have wondered how Kathryn felt.  I wondered how it was for her.  I know it has given me a new appreciation for how lucky I am to have so many people care about me.  Kathryn wrote about how lucky she felt too.  She wrote that her tears were not about her disease or her but for the love she felt from so many people who cared so deeply for her.  Scott has been truly amazing.  He is an excellent caregiver.  He took good care of Kathryn and he is taking great care of me.  I have now experienced some similar things as Kathryn did.  Mine don’t really compare when you think of how she knew her outcome was to be death and mine will be a full recovery and life.  It’s just a little insight as to what she was going through. 

So Saturday the 15th came and I was not able to go to Bellingham for Bee’s graduation.  I was bummed but Scott and my Mom went and filled me in.  Richard also called throughout the day to let me know what was going on.  I felt like I was there in a way.  I would have been miserable sitting in the car and then sitting at a picnic table.  Scott made sure I was taken care of too.  My friend Robyn came over for the first hour and a half and then my friend Julynn came over with her two daughters.  They brought salad fixings for dinner and I had a chicken dish that my sweet neighbors had brought over.  Julynn and her daughters stayed until Scott got home.  I really enjoyed the company.  

So, I watched the Long Island Medium again and there was another Mom who lost her son.  This time the son was leaving Mom the message to stop asking God why he took him and not her.  Wow, That would be Kathryn too.  I have asked that so many times as I offered my life in trade for Kathryn’s over and over.  He also said that he would not trade his short life for 60 more years.  He loved his life as it was.  He said if his parents had known about his condition they would have not allowed him to experience life the way he did.  I think Kathryn would feel the same way.  I don’t think she would have changed a thing in her life.  Through cut short she had an amazing life and she felt that way.  She knew her experience with cancer gave her a special appreciation for life and those in her life.  She knew cancer shaped her and made her a better person.  I just wish she could have spread her lover farther and for longer in this world. 

A friend of mine stopped by the other day.  Time has gone so quickly that I don’t remember what day it was.  Anyhow back in 2005 or so she and her family moved into a home by the Narrows Bridge.  It had a swimming pool in the back yard that needed to be redone.  They had friends help by decorating tiles for the tope edge of the pool.  It was such a great idea.  Over the past 8 years the tiles have broken and cracked.  They are redoing their pool again this summer.  She stopped by to bring us the tile Kathryn had created for their pool.  She said it was the only tile that wasn’t broken or cracked.  There is one single little chip off of the corner.  So funny how Kathryn’s tile would be the only surviving tile.  This family has been so supportive of Kathryn and our family since the very first day Kathryn was diagnosed back in 1999.  They are amazing people.  I really appreciate her bringing by the tile for me to treasure forever.  Just a simple little thing that means so very much!

So today (June 19th) I thought I would try to tackle pictures.  Pictures that need to be placed in the photo album.  They are all organized and ready to go but this is a difficult task.  These are the last pictures and memories of Kathryn that I will be looking at.  It’s now noon and I have only looked through the box.  I’m having a hard time with this one.  I will get it done.  If not today maybe tomorrow.  It’s starting that is difficult.  So so so hard!  Simple things – pictures to place in a book.  Not so simple this time.

Yesterday was a tough day trying to get through pictures.  Wow!  So, today I am going to try again with a new direction so I can do it.  Hopefully it will be easier.  I want to get to a certain point so I don’t feel so over whelmed.  I did ok.  Better than the day before but still not even close to getting done.  I found files of pictures I have been looking for and that made me happy.  I tried to print a picture for Rowan’s Mom and Dad but I was unsuccessful.  It just wouldn’t turn out right.  So I will get it printed at a regular print shop. 

Today is June 21st.  I have been able to walk all week without my cane.  I use if I going outside or up the stairs but just around the house I’m ok.  I actually forget it here and there.  I also heard from Rebecca (Rowan’s Mom).  It has only been a little over a month since Rowan passed away.  I’m was so happy to hear from her.  I hope they can get back to life sooner than I did.  It is terrible laying around crying and feeling that pain of loss.  It is so fresh for them right now.

Today my goal is to get pictures ordered and get some in the album.  I will do it!  I’m also going out to camp to see people and help set up the arts and crafts.  We will see how often I get out there.  I bought a 10 day ferry pass.  I used 10 days between the two camps last year.  I hope to actually stay out there for the second week of camp.  We will see how I feel by then.  Richard and Bee are running a special session for the siblings.  They are only allowing siblings to run the sessions as well.  A lady who has been doing sib shops for years now will be coming out to help on the day they are doing theirs.  I hope to get out there to meet her.  I asked both Richard and Bee about their feelings at the time of their sisters having cancer.  Bee said she was older so she was able to handle it better than a child.  Richard said, “I had skiing.”  I truly believe my brother saved Richard by teaching him how to ski.  Things could have been so different and negative for Richard.  But he had skiing and an Uncle who took him under his wing and gave him the love and time he needed.  Siblings get left out so often.  They can be the forgotten child or children.  The sick child gets a lot of attention and gifts.  I remember feeling bad for Richard several times as Kathryn received gifts and he had to just watch.  He seemed to do well with it.  Kathryn was good at sharing.

So the simple things in life are there to treasure.  I do treasure sitting outside and just soaking in all of the beauty around me.  I enjoy the simple visits from friends and family.  The time I get to share with them.  Of course I appreciate the simple things that I can do.  I can walk, talk, think for myself, see and do what I need to do or want to do.  Being independent is such a simple gift but one that I really treasure.  I hope you realize the simple things in life are the best things in life. 

I’m off and will write later. 
Love you all,
Carol









Thursday, June 13, 2013

Thursday June 13, 2013 Recovery


Thursday June 13, 2013 Recovery

Sorry for not writing for a while but surgery and drugs made it hard to pull words together.  I left off on Sunday June 2nd with my Mom’s 80th birthday party.  It was a great time with a small group at the end for a bond fire.  She is amazing how well she is doing at 80. She has had fewer problems in her life than me and she has a few years on me.  Oh well, some of us just get the extras sent our way.

On Monday (June 3rd) morning I went to the hospital with Scott and my Mom.  They did all the regular check in stuff.  The doctor was about an hour behind so we had Richard and Bee come to the hospital and hang out with me until I was sent into surgery.  I gave them all a hug and kiss good-bye.  Some one or two had asked me if I was afraid and I said no.  How could I be afraid after never feeling any fear when sending my daughter in for brain surgery (twice).  No fear of surgery for others or me.  I guess I just have that trust that I have chosen a good doctor who will do the very best that he or she can do.  I also had 3 major surgeries by time I was 13 and several after so I was use to it.  I do remember the fear I had with the first surgery (at 6 years old) I was sure to share those feelings with the doctors and nurses when Kathryn had her first surgery.  I never wanted her to have that same fear.  She did pretty well.  The lady (social worker) did notice Kathryn was a bit afraid and got her medicine to relax her.  Kathryn had also dressed in red that day so if they got blood on her clothes it would either blend in or be easier for me to get out.  Always thinking of others. 

My surgery went very well.  The anesthesiologist went over all the meds he was going to give me.  I told him it sounded like he was going to take real good care of me and he was going to make sure I wasn’t going to get sick.  He was giving like three different drugs just to keep me from getting sick.  He was a great guy.  I think he was kind of blown away with our knowledge of drugs and what they do.  Little did he know of whom he was dealing with and our extensive involvement with Kathryn’s care.  We were taught well.  When I saw the surgeon before surgery we talked about his daughter a little and her graduation.  Then I did tell him I had one last thing to say, “ Remember to measure twice and cut once.”  I think he was a bit shocked but I also think he felt my humor. 

After surgery I felt fine.  They really took good care of me.  They didn’t get me up right away like I was told they would but I was glad.  I was tired and drugged.  My first up was to the bathroom.   A success!  Since my surgery was later in the day on Monday I spent Monday and Tuesday night.  I didn’t sleep either night.  I kept the TV on and took little snoozes.  Because I get itchy with oxycodine they gave me Benadryl too so snoozing was not a problem.  At joint camp I did well.  She even let me try the cane out.  I did fine but a bit wobbly.  We both agreed that the walker would be a better choice for the first week or two. I felt like I was treated like a little princess my whole stay.  Everyone was super nice and really on top of it.

So I came home on Wednesday and made it up the stairs to sleep in my own bed.  Actually the stairs were not a problem at all.  Just slow and one step at a time.  I have just been doing my exercises and being a good patient so I don’t hurt myself and extend the recovery time. 

Over the weekend I had visitors from school.  It was nice to see them.  My Mom has been down helping nurse Scott take care of me.  I told him I could stay by myself but he wasn’t ready  to leave me alone.  Over the weekend we also watched the long Island Median just by chance we flipped to it on the TV.  It was about a Mom who lost her son.  He was 19.  His story was a bit like Kathryn’s.  His cancer was so an old man’s cancer not one found in a 19 year old.  Same as Kathryn’s.  He also lost his voice towards the end just like Kathryn.  And of course they were both so young, he 19 and Kathryn 20.  Both died of cancer.  I watched as Scott wiped his eyes.  It is hard to watch these shows but it is also good.  We both feel Kathryn is here with us.  We know she is here but we can’t see her, hold her or talk to her.  That’s hard but knowing that she is here gives us a sense of peace.

Also received a noticed that Rowan’s parents have returned home.  Rebecca wrote her final blog.  It was truly beautiful.  She writes so well.  She shared how “You Are My Sunshine” was one of Rowan’s favorite songs.  She loved to sing it.  My Dad would sing this song to me.  I loved to have him sing to me.  Rebecca wrote about her friends and family clearing the house and rearranging the furniture so it wouldn’t be so shocking when they returned.  It would be hard to walk in and see Rowan’s things sitting there waiting for her to play.  I can understand.  I suppose I kind of did some similar things.  I got rid of all the medical stuff immediately.  The fire department was willing to take things away and I was happy to have them clear the house.  We called home health services right away to take everything.  We moved it all to the garage immediately to clear the house of the medical equipment.  Then we went through Kathryn’s room to put together her service.  I was blessed to have so many people to help.  It must have been extremely hard on Richard.  I know it was hard on Scott and me but my Mom was hit heavy too.  I did send Rebecca an email but have not received a return.  I know they are hurting and it will take time for Chuck and Rebecca to return to life.  I had finally taken my life back by September.  Kind of had to as I returned to work but I also started to work out and get my body back so I could be me again.  This is part of the steps a grieving parent takes.  Scott also took his life back around October and did things to bring back the real Scott.  Even though you still grieve you have to learn to live again and be who you once were before tragedy hit.

On Monday the 10th I felt kind of sick to my stomach all day.  I felt clammy and just icky.  But Tuesday was a whole new day!  Thank goodness.  I felt good enough to grade tests that night.  And on Wednesday I felt good enough to surf the Internet.  I have dropped most of the drugs so my head is starting to clear.  I couldn’t really put words together very well.  On Wednesday a friend had posted another mother’s writing called Ben’s room: This Mom lost her son Ben at 4 years old to brain cancer.  They have set up a foundation to help support research for pediatric brain cancer.  They support other forms of treatment rather than chemo and radiation.  Here is what she wrote:

The other day after we dropped Ryan off at school, I went up to his room to return the sweatshirt he proclaimed he would not wear. Though I had made his bed and straightened his room up earlier that morning, it was now a complete mess. There were numerous stuffed animals, sports paraphernalia (including goggles – why?) and various musical instruments scattered on the now unmade bed. Multiple team jerseys and athletic shorts lay strewn on the floor. How did he even have time to do all this I wondered? And why do I even bother to clean it up? For ten minutes after he is home from school it will look similar – only with a different choice of items scattered about. But in the midst of my small frustration and bewilderment I glanced across the hall to Ben’s room.
Nothing was out of place. Clothes are folded neatly in the drawers; his animals cuddle together nearby on a shelf. All his favorite books are stacked evenly in his bookshelf, vacuum marks remain permanently on the floor it seems. The quilt is perfectly flat, his worn blanket and sweet band-aid covered sheep lay propped against his pillow. If you saw it, it would be clear that no child lives here – at least no child of mine.
One of the questions I get asked the most, interestingly enough is, “Did you leave Ben’s room the same?” The short answer is yes. His room looks very much like it did the day he died – minus a plethora of medications, tubes, oxygen equipment, pumps, etc. The sheets and bedding no longer smell like cancer. A window must be opened occasionally in order to avoid the scent of a musty library. His beloved husky hat now sits on top of his dresser. But other than that – it remains unchanged.
Ryan is welcome and comfortable being there. He knows what he can play with and what he can’t. In this new world of school and play dates, I will often hear his little buddies saying, “Whose room is that?” Ryan will answer matter of factly, “That is my brother’s room.” “Who is your brother,” they ask? “Ben,” he responds. Sometimes they leave it at that, other times the conversation continues. Occasionally I step in to assist Ryan in the midst of their dialogue – for though this is our “normal”, it is certainly not normal for his friends.
But as long as we live here this will be Ben’s room. It’s not exactly a Land of Nod advertisement – but it is what it is. In the initial days and weeks of his absence I spent most of my days there – in his bed. Now, four years later, I don’t go in there daily. Sometimes a week or more will pass. It is mostly a conscious decision now, unless Ryan is in there. But on this day I pause. I enter. I breathe. I look around his room and my mind still cannot comprehend… he was just here. He was just here.  
It may not look like a church, but this space is holy to me. For it was in this place that Ben took his last breath. It is a small snapshot of his short life – of the things and the people he loved most. And so it remains the same. Only we have changed.
And with that I exit before I fall down the rabbit hole of grief.
Ben's Room - So many of us feel this way.  Yes, we all go through this in our own way but the reality is that we don't really want reality.  We would all like those rooms to be messy and filled with laughter and friends.  Our children enjoying their rooms, as we once knew it.  I was asked if I was going to move because of the memories.  I said no, it is the memories that keep me here.  I too can't imagine moving to a house that Kathryn never lived in.  It just wouldn't be the same.  Her pictures and artwork are all on display now more than ever.  I have neatened and changed a few things in her room but for the most part it remains as she had it.  Some day I will empty the closet.  The drawers were easy, as you don't see into them.  Her closet is open so to remove her clothes from there would leave a huge empty hole.  One of which I don't want to look at.  I have a hard time going into her room but did do it recently to clean and organize as she was nagging me to get it back to normal.  I know she was the voice in my head, as she would have wanted it cleaned and organized.  Scott goes into her room every day.  He places his hands on her box of ashes and talks to her.  He feels her presents and this makes him feel good.

My friend Terri came over to get the tickets I had bought for the Long Island Medium show that is tonight.  We talked for a while.  It’s been difficult for her as she lost her step Dad and then her “real” Dad and now her husband’s Dad is dying.  She hopes to connect with her Dad.  I told her if Theresa asked about a little ity bity girl you know you will need to raise your hand and acknowledge it is Kathryn.  She assured me if anything like that happens she will jump up and then record it all on her phone as she would probably be too excited to remember to write things down.  I just hope she has a good time. 

Richard and Bee came down last night.  It was a good Mommy fix.  I congratulated Bee on her Degree.  Richard has been checking in daily and telling about classes as he finishes them.  He is really done with school.  He will just have his student teaching in the fall.  Actually it is a semester so he will finish the end of January.  I think this quarter was difficult but I think his grades are going to be great!  He thought his lowest grade would be in the class he got an A- in so he should be getting really close to a 4.0.  He has worked hard.  As they were here last night we talked Bee asked me about Rowan’s parents.  We all thought it must be even more difficult for them not having a second child.  I hope they decide to have another child some day.  Rebecca actually had mentioned to me that a baby would be a great thing for me with my loss.  She told me jokingly to talk to Richard and Bee and get them moving towards having a baby.  I’m actually good where I am right now.  I enjoy spending adult time with Richard and Bee.  I feel we can share things with each other.  I brought up how hard it is on those close to the family too.  And as we are so close we forget about how much others close to us hurt.  Bee said her grandmother said is was harder for her to watch her daughter suffer so much than it was to lose a granddaughter.  I know it was terribly hard for my Mom.  She hates it when I hurt.  But she was also so close to Kathryn.  She must hurt so badly and yet feels that she needs to take care of her little girl all at the same time.  See, she is the best Mom.  I love her so much.

So here I am (Thursday June 13).  I feel pretty good.  Got my Mommy fix, walked without the walker today, took less drugs and I am so grateful.  I have a wonderful husband who has been a super nurse.  My son is my friend and looks after me.  My son’s girlfriend is also my friend who I love.  My Mom is a delightful woman who I love being with.  I have great friends and family.  My job is good and the people I work with are supportive and caring.  I live in a beautiful place.  And even though I don’t have Kathryn with me physically she is here.  I have her memories and will always feel her love.  I’m a lucky girl!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Love my kids 6-3-13


Love my kids 6-3-13

When I came home from work the other day my house smelled like there were brownies baking.  I asked Scott what he was baking.  He said, “I’m not baking anything.”  I always think when I smell these different smells it must be Kathryn.  I kept smelling it for hours too.

Another day last week Scott came to me and said, “Look at this rock.”  I looked at it and there was a definite smiley face on it.  This was Scott’s sign that Kathryn was around.  I know she is here.  We see, hear or smell signs all of the time.

We finally finished painting our bedroom/bathroom and went through all of our stuff and organized.  I found copy of Kathryn’s essay that she wrote in the spring of 2010.  This was after she was re-diagnosed and after her brain surgery and while she was doing her radiation and chemo.  I can’t believe how she wrote about cancer as a positive in her life.  She also wrote in such a positive way about her future.  She didn’t plan on leaving us.  No, she was planning on continuing her education at Western and taking on her dream job of becoming a childlife specialist in the oncology department of Mary Bridge Hospital.  This was so she could blossom joy from cancer and her experience.

Richard’s essay always blows me away.  It was about finding skiing.  He talks about his story of how his way of learning to ski was so much different than most people.  He found skiing because of his sister’s cancer.  A difficult and devastating ordeal for our family.  Skiing gave him an escape.  He so appreciates what his Uncle Pat did for him.  He bought him all of his gear, taught him how to ski and took him to the mountain every weekend.  He hopes to repay it by doing something similar for some other child in his future.

I also found letters that were written back in 2007 to Richard and Kathryn from a few different people including myself.  I read through them and realized that I have always been so proud of my kids.  They are both very loving and caring people who have great spirits and fun personalities.  Just great kids.  I’m so fortunate to have them.

My neighbor reads my blog and she brought flowers over to me for my broken heart.  She read about Rowan’s passing.  I have great neighbors!

I also finally got up the courage to really clean in Kathryn’s room.  I dusted and put her Pictures back up on her dresser.  I moved the stuffed animals to where they should be and vacuumed.  It didn’t take too long but I feel so much better.  It’s clean and organized again like Kathryn would have it.  I didn’t even cry too much.

Friday evening I was asked to be the Luminaria speaker for the Lakewood Relay for Life.  This was the evening when I smelt the brownies.  Maybe this was Kathryn’s sign of approval.  I had planned on reading her essay for most of my speech.  I thought it would be good for people to hear her story from her and not all me.  I thought her positive writing would encourage others to be positive too.  While I was there I met a young lady who knew Kathryn and went to school with her.  She remembered collecting pennies for her back in the second grade when she was first diagnosed with cancer.  It was nice to meet her.  She had to leave to head back to Bellingham as she is going to Western.  My speech went just fine.  I felt good about it.  I saw that people were really listening and would smile and nod their heads. 

A lady also contacted me this week.  Her daughter also knew Kathryn.  Her friend’s daughter has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  She is only 8 years old.  She wanted to know some things about our experience.  I was happy to answer all of her questions and offer support for her friend.  The little girl had just finished her year of treatments but now there was something else.  She started to have headaches and vomiting.  These are all signs of brain tumors.  This was a couple of days ago that she contacted me.  Last night I read she was in the hospital after having a seizure.  Another sign of a brain tumor.  I don’t know how God could allow this to happen to little children. 

Friday (May 31st) was my Mother’s 80th birthday.  I had a huge birthday party for her on Sunday the 1st.  We had relatives and friends over.  In the morning it poured down rain.  I was so worried that the weather was not going to clear.  It ended up perfect.  Around 10:30 or so it stopped raining.  And by the time the party was supposed to start at 2:00 it was sunny and nice.  In the evening after most everyone had left we had a nice bond fire.  I love sitting around the fire and just talking and having a good time.

Richard and Bee came down for the party.  I was busy working in the yard on Saturday when they arrived.  I talked to them about their sib shops that they are going to do at Camp.  This will be time for the siblings of the cancer kids to ask questions and share their feelings about being a sibling of a child with cancer.  They have some good things planned.  I asked both of them if they had any feelings of jealousy or anything as they grew up as a sibling of a child with cancer.  Both of them said no.  Richard said, “I had skiing.”  Bee said, she just remembers that she would spend her allowance really quick because she could go out and do things with friends.  Her sister couldn’t go out and do a lot of things so she has a huge stash of money from her allowance.  It didn’t cause any issues.  They both feel they were lucky in that our families handled things well.  Neither one of them felt left out or became jealous.  They said that there are a lot of kids that don’t have it as good. 

Well, today is June 3rd and I am having my hip replaced.  I will have to get in the shower soon.  Surgery is at 11 am.  Yesterday I was reminded that I really need to get this done.  My hip was bothering me so bad by the end of the night.  I was on my feet all day and wow, I was sore.  So here I go!

Have a great week.