Special Days Ahead Jan 26, 2013
It’s been a busy week and I have a great deal of things to
share. So grab yourself a cup of
coffee or tea, a beer or glass of wine all depending on what time it is and sit
back and relax.
First, I forgot to mention that Richard did get a new
car. It is exactly like the one he
had but two years newer. It also
has an after market stereo that he really doesn’t care for but all in all he is
very happy to have his car back.
It is even the same color and same interior it’s just newer and maybe a
little better. I’m so happy he was
able to find the car that he truly wanted and he didn’t have to settle on
something he wasn’t truly happy with.
He picked it up on the 17th.
So, last Saturday I thought I should contact Rebecca, Rowan’s
Mom, to see how they were all doing.
I went to send her an email and found that all but 6 of my contacts were
gone. Not too happy about
that. Anyhow I am one of those
people who save emails and I was able to find an old one of Rebecca’s. The next thing I know I get this call
from Rowan. She has the sweetest
little voice. She reminds me of
Kathryn when she was little. She
chatted with me for a while. I
could hear Rebecca in the background coaching her just a little. She carried the conversation pretty
well all by herself most of the time.
Not bad for only 4 years old.
She said, “I Love You”, at the end of our conversation. My heart filled with emotion and I was
warm all over. Then I talked to
Rebecca for a while. They had a
MRI scheduled for the 23rd.
I just checked my email to see if she sent me something about the MRI
but nothing. I haven’t checked my
emails for a while (a week) so it took a while to go through everything. Rowan is doing very well. I just hope and pray that her doctor
continues to treat people here in the USA. He has been hassled by the FDA and the Texas Medical board
so many times for saving lives that he may just have to go to another
country. Pray that this he
continues his good work here so children like Rowan can live a full and happy
life.
I had another stress headache. These are killers and take me down. Last spring I ended up in the ER as it
went into my back and legs. This
time it stayed in my head and neck.
I just about called it a day about half way through work but I made
it. I went straight home and right
to a nice little nap on the couch.
This helped. I had taken
all kinds of pain meds throughout the day but nothing touched it. This is how it goes for me. After a good nights sleep I was fine in
the morning.
I finally took down the Christmas tree last weekend. It is a difficult task mentally. All of those ornaments bring back
memories. They are good memories
but it also reminds me that the memories with Kathryn are now in the past and
no new ones are in my future. The
Barbie shoe ornaments were some of her favorites. There’s this cute one of a Barbie and Kelly on a sled and we
always referred to it as Mommy and Kathryn. Her beautiful ballerinas from the Nutcracker. That was our Christmas thing to
do. Carefully placing each
ornament in its box and remembering every special moment. We are a special family with so many
memories. I have many more
memories to make. Scott, Richard
and I will keep the family system alive.
Scott and I also attended the Porsche club annual awards
event on 1-19-13. It was in Tacoma
at Griot’s Garage. It was nice to
see people that we haven’t seen for a while. This is another family that we are fortunate to be a part
of. When we walked into the place
they have beautiful cars on display.
One looks like Scott’s old Carerra clone that was white with blue. It belongs to Kathryn’s
neurosurgeon. He showed up and sat
with us for a while. He was on
call that weekend and had just finished up a surgery. I thanked him for giving Kathryn that last year of
college. I told him she wanted
nothing more than to be a normal college student and he helped her achieve
that. I think I made him choke a
little. Neurosurgeons are not very
emotional people. I guess with a
job like that you have to separate yourself to be able to handle the
disappointments that you are handed.
I know he was connected to our family. I know that he really felt the sorrow when he discovered the
type of tumor Kathryn had. He was
the first one to know what we were all going to face. I know it was hard for him to face me and tell me what he
had discovered. But as he told other people bad news he faced me solid. He told me and he told me how sorry he
was. He had nothing to be sorry
about. He gave Kathryn so
much. He did two surgeries on her
and he did each one perfectly. He
gave her life. And for that I am
eternally grateful.
On Sunday I went to church with my Mom. It was nice to go with her. I do enjoy going to church. But it hit me. During the service I just broke down
and cried. I couldn’t help
it. Thank goodness my Mom was
there. She pulled a clean hanky from
her purse. I teased her about it
and asked if it was clean. Yep, I
needed it. One of my friends at
church shared with me that the alter flowers were from her family in honor and
memory of her sister and niece.
Her sister was only 26 and pregnant. Wow, just starting her family. She was in a car accident and her life and her baby’s life
were both taken. I also saw the
mother of a friend of mine. She
looked so stressed. Their son just
died in October. He was a couple
of years younger than me. Yes, he
was a full grown adult but still her child. It is never easy to loose a child. There are so many people with seriously ill children. Some that won’t make it. Some that will. It is so hard to understand why the
little children get sick and die.
Right after church we (Mom and I) headed to Seattle. We were meeting with Richard’s
girlfriend’s Mom and Grandma for lunch.
It was fun to finally see where Bee grew up. I enjoyed getting to know more about the family and where
they lived and all. We drove by
the bookstore that Christy (Bee’s Mom) owns. I can see the attraction to living where they live. The little area of Ballard is very
nice. We went to Roy’s in Ballard
for lunch. It was a beautiful day. Actually it was foggy but the fog was
letting go and the Olympic Mountains were making an appearance. Such a beautiful view. Scott and I had been there way back in
the 80’s with his Grandma, Grandpa and cousin. Christy had shared their cancer story with me and now I
think I can remember it more clearly.
I have been given bits and piece and well when Bee and I sat in the hot
tub Thanksgiving Day night I had had a little bit of wine so remembering what
was said didn’t come back too well.
I’m so glad that Mom and I spent this day with Christy and her Mom.
So Monday was MLK day and I had the day off. I went to a Non-chiropractor who moves
bones. I don’t know what to really
call him. His name is George and
he told me I would get lost finding his place. I did. But I
was early enough and I wasn’t too far off when I called him. I was referred to him by a friend from
work. He is an Asian man with
furniture similar to the furniture that I have in my living room. All Chinese hand carved. He said his was valued at $40,000. He has a strong religious background. His mother is a Buddhist and high up in
the Buddhist community. He started
off my telling me that illnesses are brought on by ignorance or
indulgence. He explained that we
either don’t know that what we are doing is making us sick or that we know and
we indulge in what brings us pleasure and continue to make ourselves sick. He also told me a little bit of what he
knows about blood type and our bodies.
I have read a little about how our blood types do make us more susceptible
to certain illnesses. As he moved
my bones back into place (a bunch of them) we talked about life and different
things. Of course Kathryn came up. He told me that she and I would always
be connected. That the atoms and
forces of our bodies will always connect.
He said she is around and always will be. He told me he knew this because he had had a heart attack
and died. During his death he saw
his sister who had only lived hours.
He never knew about her until that moment. She was full grown and told him who she was and gave him her
name. When he shared this with his
Mother she was certainly taken back.
She had never mentioned her before but he was able to tell his mother
her name and how she came to him.
He told me to look into the eyes of Kathryn in a picture and talk to
her. He said I would feel her. I could feel the bones go back into
place. So many of them were
out. I did feel better right
away. He told me that my muscles
were so tight because they were working hard to hold my bones in place. Or at least the muscles were trying to
hold me upright so I could stand up with bones not lining up. Since they were all out of whack my
muscles had to work really hard. I
did go to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday. I was fine after Tuesday but Thursday I worked my legs and
hurt pretty bad on Friday. Today
I’m better. I guess I won’t ski on
Monday. I need to lay low and let
my muscles relax. Richard told
Scott I was broken and shouldn’t ski.
I see George again on Wednesday but I’m calling on Monday to see if I
can see him Monday instead.
While in the copy room last week at work my principal called
me aside. He wanted to tell me
about a former student of ours. He
didn’t want me to read it in an email during class. He looks out for me.
This student was such a nice girl.
She would talk to me a lot.
She would say, “Hi Mrs. Bradley how are you today?” We would chat a little. She always had a smile on her
face. She was always so pleasant
and kind. She had a seizer and it
took her life. Her celebration of
life is on the 2nd. I
just don’t know that I could do this one.
Not on the 2nd.
I have a candy cane pen that I will send with a card. She collected pens. Clicky pens were her favorite but I’m
sure she would love this candy cane pen too. Especially knowing it was Kathryn’s. She asked me about Kathryn many
times.
So, the 22nd was the anniversary of our last
Christmas with Kathryn. It was a
good day with her. She so enjoyed
her Christmas. She placed her new
ornament on the tree. She opened
her gifts with our help. She loved
watching Princess open treats that were wrapped. She really enjoyed having Nathan sign for her. She thanked him by clapping and smiled
such a big smile. Her face lit up
as he sang. She was so excepting
of him and his music. There are
other days coming up too. February
2nd will mark one year since Kathryn’s passing. February 5th will be her 22nd
birthday. February 9th
will be Richard’s 26th birthday. It’s hard to know how to do all of these days. My friends from work asked if they
could take me to the waterfront and maybe put some flowers in the water for
Kathryn and then take me out for a solute to Kathryn. We are going to do this on her birthday the 5th
right after work. I think it is
special that they are thinking of me.
I did finally talk to Richard about all of this on Tuesday the 22nd
or so. We are having a pancake
dinner on the 2nd as we did last year fro her birthday. He was open to the idea. When I asked
him who to invite he said, “You know I don’t do these things.” He isn’t a party planner or event
planner. I know he doesn’t do
these things but I wanted to make sure I asked him for input. I started to cry as I talked about
it. He told me it was ok for me to
cry. He is such a tenderhearted
person. I so proud of the person he has become. A wild boy to a beautiful young man. I love him so much.
Richard will be here for about a week or so before he heads
out with Mitch on their ski adventure.
I will be praying that they stay safe. He told me he didn’t want to do anything more than go out
for dinner for his birthday. We
always took the kids to their place of choice for their birthdays and will
continue to do so. I told him to
invite whoever he would like to invite.
That will be a good night too.
On Thursday as I was leaving school I was surprised by a
friend. I was just talking to
Scott the night before about seeing someone to help him deal with his
emotions. I suggested he call his
friend but he said his friend is so busy that he didn’t want to bother
him. Well as I was approaching my
car I noticed this red jeep. I
didn’t recognize it but then it drove over by me. Who should step out?
It was Scott’s friend I had talked to him about. He had been interviewing kids with one
of the teachers that he met last year while planning the fundraiser for our
family. Wow, I couldn’t believe
it. I’m hoping after our
conversation that he and Scott will find a time to get together. It’s amazes me how people pop into our
lives just at the right time.
Yesterday as I drove home from school I put in a CD. Scott had left two in the car. One was Eric Clapton and the other was
one that someone made. It said,
“Songs for Kathryn,” on it. I
flipped through the Eric Clapton songs as I couldn’t handle listening to
them. Then I put in the other CD
and it started off with Brother Iz, “Over the Rainbow.” I burst into tears and changed it to
another song and another and another.
I was a mess by time I got home.
I was just so full of emotion.
I came home and talked to God as I changed and then talked to my sweet
pea. I told Kathryn how much I
missed her. I told God how much I
missed her too. I washed my face
and took Princess for a walk. My
leg really hurt from the gym the night before. I could hardly walk a couple of blocks. But the walk was good to clear my
head.
You probably had to read this in sections. It’s long! Hopefully I will have good news to share about Rowan next
time. I’m sure it will be good news. She sounded so good on the phone. I will also share how each of the
anniversaries go and still more to come.
I also read from a woman who just lost her husband. When he died she was pissed at first to
see the sun in the sky. How dare
the sun shine after losing her husband she thought. Kathryn died on a beautiful sunny day. We thank her and God for the sunshine
that day and the days that followed.
This lady was also grateful for the sunshine after she thought about
it. She also had a hard time going
to sleep the first night after being by her husband’s side for so long. Oh, I remember that first night so
clearly. It was scary to go into
the dark and try to sleep. I had
sleep next to Kathryn for so long.
I had slept with her and the Christmas tree on to light the room. I had to be able to see the oxygen
reader. The darkness was too hard
to face. I will write about this
later.
I’m still amazed how people are put into our lives just at
the right moments. We are given
peace and joy through the people we encounter. I do love life and the people I have the privilege to share
it with.
Have a great day!