Christmas 2012
While hanging some ornaments they bring back memories. Most of our ornaments have some special
meaning. I hung the ones that
Scott had bought for Kathryn and myself last year. I couldn’t find the time to get ornaments. We have a picture of Kathryn hanging
hers on the tree and that picture comes to mind. She was home form the hospital and the first few days were
ok. She came down from her room
and took part in life. But after a
while she just wanted to stay in her room. That was when reality started to set in. The ballerinas from and Clair ornaments
from the Nutcracker that we so enjoyed going to. I didn’t go this year and probably won’t go again. I discovered that a bunch of ornaments
were not found. They are mainly
Kathryn’s baby ornaments. When I
put things away this year I will look for them. I know they are here somewhere. I chose not to put up the Disney ornaments. I bought them years ago and gave a new
one to Richard and Kathryn each year.
2010 was the year I finally had unboxed all of them. I just didn’t want to deal with more
stuff and then having to take them down.
As Scott and I delivered the Christmas bags to our neighbors
we stopped and chatted with each neighbor. At Henry and Lily’s house their daughter was making cut out
sugar cookies. We asked if she was
making cut out cookies and she replied with, “Of course.” Yes, that would have been my reply too
but not this year. Kathryn and I
always made the cut out sugar cookies together. Last year she was having a hard time with putting sprinkles
on because her hand was not working well.
Scott, who is very creative, dumped the sprinkles into a container and
had her dip the frosted cookies into the sprinkles. It worked out well and her tears dried up. Maybe I will make cut out cookies some
time in the future.
As Christmas Eve rolled around thoughts of the hospital came
to mind. We headed to the ER
around 11 am and thought we would still make dinner at Johnny’s Dock by
5:30. But her tumor had other
plans. It messed with her sodium
and all that they did in the hospital did nothing. They took her blood three more times after we had already
taken it because they just couldn’t believe that she could possibly be
coherent, speaking and able to even walk.
Her sodium was now at 113 or 112.
She should have been seizing we were told over and over. We were in ICU not because Kathryn was
doing poorly but because they feared a seizer. We were planning on going home in the morning (Christmas
Morning). We thought by then her sodium would be up to normal as they had
pumped massive amounts of sodium into her body but at a slow safe rate. About 18 hours of pumping sodium into
her. Well, it hadn’t moved much at
all. It was still dangerously
low. Scott called family and
friends to let them know that we would not be having Christmas dinner at our
house. We felt bad. Well, actually I didn’t think about
feeling for others at that time.
My focus was on Kathryn and only Kathryn. Still having fun and not letting the hospital setting get us
down I joined Kathryn in her bed and she shared her Christmas dinner with
me. It was pretty good. Shortly after dinner 7:30 pm Kathryn
had her seizer. I screamed the
nurses name who had just left the room (Bonnie). She came running as did other staffers of the ICU. She was sitting up clutching her little
fists and gritting her teeth. Then
it stopped. Thank God. But then another one and this time they
had to put her on the breathing machine.
Oh, this was not good.
Still hoping that she would come out of this and still believing that
God would heal her. I will stop
with this now as the tears are flowing and I need to stop.
Our Christmas Eve was very nice this year. We went to Johnny’s Dock with the same
group we would have gone with last year.
Well, no Matt this year and the addition of Bee’s Grandma and my Mom and
friend Robyn. We sat in the same
exact place that we sat in for Christmas Eve 2010. Wow, that was really something. After dinner at Johnny’s we went to our house for dessert
and a little bit of gift exchanging.
This year Christmas started out with stockings. My Mom had spent the night. It was nice to have her here. The stockings were all hung by the
fireplace. Kathryn’s hung there
empty. Usually it would be filled
with socks, maybe a piece of jewelry, some makeup and some other little
things. I bought mandarin oranges
for Christmas morning because Kathryn and Richard both love them. But I forgot to put them out. Princess got her stuff from her
stocking and we took pictures of her ripping open the goodies. We had pictures taken and then headed
out to open gifts. Richard played
Santa as he handed out the gifts.
Kathryn enjoyed this job. I
think Richard was doing his best to keep this day as normal as possible. It was going well. I thought about how I would normally take
a picture of Richard and Kathryn in front of the tree before we open
gifts. Not this year. We did take out family picture later in
front of the tree. It was a lovely
Christmas. We cleaned up our
morning mess in preparation for our guests. A delicious dinner and fine conversation. Then we played the gift exchanged
game. It was fun. There’s always a few gifts that are
worthy of stealing and a couple of gifts that you get stuck with. My Mom had wrapped a tin of clay
figures that she and Kathryn had been exchanging for several years. I don’t know who started it but they
had fun with it. It will be there
next year. I opened it and went
through all of the clay pieces to show them to everyone. Richard and Kathryn had made these at
my Mom and Dad’s house years and years ago. They sat on the TV for a long time. When my parents moved that is when they
went into the tin. That was in the
spring of 2008.
We received a beautiful gift from our friend Dennis. It is a picture of Kathryn in a frame
that has a saying on it that would really touch your heart. It did make me cry. Scott too. Our nephew also decorated a picture frame with a Panda and
bamboo. In the frame was Kathryn
with a huge, pointed, sparkly hat on.
She is in a store and being silly.
Being Kathryn! My friend
Robyn gave us a cabinet door that she painted with a panda and Kathryn’s
name. It is really done well. She said that it should go on a cabinet
that I can keep arts and crafts stuff in for Camp Goodtimes. I didn’t know she could paint so
well. She also gave us a bamboo
plant.
So, now that Christmas is over I think both Scott and I are
feeling the let down. He is not
feeling well and I was so lazy yesterday.
In the evening we watched a couple of Hallmark Movies about Christmas. They are sweet but also tear
jerkers. I feel the depression and
would love to go skiing but my knee and hip are still a mess. Scott’s ACL is not completely stable
and he is fearful of hurting it again.
I’m supposed to go up with Bee tomorrow. I think I will go even if I just ski groomers. At least I will be out of the
house. I also need to do a few
things at the cabin. And being
with Richard will be good for me too.
I thank all of your for reading. Thank you for all of your kind words, love and support. I don’t know how I could make it
through each day without the support and love from my friends and family. Thank you so very much.
Love to all of you,
Carol