Asking for help 11-9-12
In Sunday’s paper there was a huge photo of some young people going between large rock structures. The picture showed a young man in the air between rock formations. Scott asked if this was like my dream about Richard and Mitch. It was a bit like it. It was close enough to get the idea of how terrifying it would be for a parent to see their child doing something so crazy. This was in the outdoor section of the paper.
My friend sent me a text yesterday (Saturday Nov 3rd) that there was a psychic fair going on this weekend at Freight House Square in Tacoma. Scott and I are going to it after we attend the all Saints Day Celebration at our church. They are honoring each member who has passed away in the last year. So they will be honoring Kathryn. My Mom and I were both wondering (not saying anything to each other) why they didn’t honor my Dad last year (2011) since he passed away 5-5-11. She figured it out. They did honor him; we were not here for it. She was in Arizona helping my cousins who had just lost their Dad and had no family to help. We (Team Bradley) were all in Houston for Kathryn.
Sunday November 4th
I finished my speech yesterday. Between writing my blog, writing the speech and looking through photos on Kathryn’s facebook my eyes were sore and puffy. The three brought on the tears and I also have the sniffles and a stuffy nose so crying magnifies all of this.
The church service was nice and I didn’t even break down and cry. I sang along without any tears. When they had us bring up a carnation to put in the cross at the front of the church in memory of Kathryn I did shed a couple of tears. I think I have such a new outlook on death that it isn’t so sad anymore. Death is really new life. That’s how I see it or always have seen it. It has just become very clear to me. I have been given that peaceful feeling that assures me we will all be together again in a loving place that has no worries, fears or pains. We are only here for a nanosecond when you think of life eternal. I still and always will miss Kathryn but I can cope.
We also went to the psychic at Freight House Square. It was interesting. She told me that Kathryn was standing right there with her hand on my shoulder. She said Kathryn would be more present in my life around Christmas and the end of January. Her birthday is February 5th and her passing was on February 2nd. She also said that Kathryn has talked to Richard for me. I hope this is true. She said it with a firm yes when I asked if Kathryn had talked to Richard like I had asked her to. She also said her death was her duty. It was to strengthen our faith. I think there is more to this than just strengthening our faith but I’m not sure what. Anyhow it was an interesting experience.
I also went to Seattle Sunday night. Richard’s girlfriend Bee and friend Lauren invited me to join them for snacks and drinks. I love being involved in their lives. Of course I joined them. We had a really nice time. That same day Mitch (who we call S-2 for son two) called to see if we were home. He was around the Tacoma area and wanted to stop by. I wished we would have been home to see him. I’m glad the kids are keeping in touch. We love them all so much.
Monday rolled around and I realized I couldn’t find my bracelet. My gold Hawaiian bangle bracelet from Scott’s Mom June. I was so worried that I had really lost it for good. I filled out a lost and found with TSA at LAX airport. That was truly the last time I could remember having it. I put it in the basket because it will make the buzzer go off when going through security. I was pulled aside because of the snow globe in my bag. I thought I may have been so distracted by this that I forgot it in the basket. Well I looked everywhere in the house. I checked all of my bags and looked in the car. It was nowhere to be found. I remembered how Kathryn had lost hers and found it months later. I thought I would find mine later just like Kathryn did. So I let it go for a bit. But in the morning on Tuesday I started to look again in bags and then I thought about the book I was reading. It says to ask your angels to help you. I had asked her to help me find a box of pictures and within hours I found it. So I thought I should ask for her help again. She knows how important the bracelet is to me. So I asked for her help and with in minutes I found it. Why did I look where I looked? It was under a cup in a drawer. Wow!
Scott and I went to the Grapevine event on Thursday. We ate P and J sandwiches in the car on our way up to Seattle. This event is to try to get new donors and encourage current donors to continue to contribute to Camp Goodtimes. It was a time to mingle and have some tasty treats and some wine. There were 50 or so people there and I was the speaker. The people there were presidents of big banks, the president of Walmart, and other (BIG WIGS). They were all wonderful people. I had practiced my speech over and over. Every time I read through it I cried big time. I was terrified that I would do the same thing at the event. So again I asked Kathryn to give me courage. Give me what I need to get through my speech without losing it. This is what happened. When I started speaking I immediately lost my place on the page. I couldn’t find my place the entire time. I shuffled the pages as I was speaking in hopes to find key words. Well, my free speech was better than the practiced speech. I knew what to say. I went extremely well. It was better than the speech I had written because I was able to through in some humor here and there. I had people laughing and crying. They were drying their tears with the little napkins. And after I was thanked and told how wonderful it was to hear our story. I spoke a lot of how Richard and Kathryn were so close and how Camp Goodtimes helped strengthen that bond. I must admit I shed a tear and had to pause for a second or two but I didn’t lose it. I was even asked to do another event similar to this one in December or January. I will of course.
I have noticed the smell of Kathryn more lately. Is it because she knows how much I need her presents? Is it because of the holidays coming? I just know that when I smell that smell it brings a smile to my face and gives me a nice warm feeling. Thank you sweetheart.
Off to bed! A busy day, weekend and week ahead. Life moves so fast.