Peaceful Feeling 10-13-12
On Monday came home and caught the end of the Katie show that was on at 5:00. It was on again at 9:00 so I watched in its entirety at 9:00. It was all about Heaven. The show featured Teresa the Long Island Medium, a lady doctor, the girl who paints from visions she gets from God and the little boy who the book Heaven is For Real is all about. They all shared their thoughts and ideas about Heaven. The doctor had visited Heaven just like the little boy. Both spoke of a peaceful loving feeling that came through them during their visit. A feeling that you don’t experience here on Earth. So much love! Unconditional love that just takes you. They spoke of the beauty and the intense colors. The young girl who paints has been on other shows. Both of her parents were atheists but now believe. Her paintings are amazing and she started painting at 6 or 8 years old. A true gift from God.
On this same day I received an email from a friend at school. He sent me an article writing my Dr. Eben Alexander. It was titled “Heaven is Real.” This doctor is a neurosurgeon and had been in a coma for 7 days. They were actually starting to talk about pulling the plug! Now this man is a scientist and always believed that there was a scientific explanation for the experiences people had when they had near death experiences. The theory has always been an over active neocortex at this time which would explain the visions and such. But now he doesn’t believe this theory is correct. While in the coma for 7 days he went to “Heaven.” During this time in a coma his neocortex was completely off. It was not functioning. They did scans and tests and it was not working. So he was in a different place, “Heaven.” He talked about the love and peace that he felt there. He also explained that communication was different. It was more like a feeling that went through you rather than voices talking at you. He spoke of beautiful colors as did the people on the Katie show. Intense beautiful colors.
So after catching the end of the early Katie show and reading the Doctors article I had to get some housework done. As I was vacuuming I received this wonderful feeling that went all through my body. A warming feeling and a feeling of peace. A feeling that let me know everything is fine. Today is the first day I have cried since I received this wonderful feeling. I’m not crying because I am worried about Kathryn. I only cry because I am so full of emotion. This feeling that came over me is definitely from God. I have felt it one time before in my life. It’s the communication that the doctor spoke about. The communication that is a feeling rather than words but understood all the same. God was letting me know that what I heard and what I read was all true. He was letting me know that Kathryn was in a good loving place.
The first time I ever received this feeling of peace and understanding was when Kathryn was first diagnosed. I was on the phone with someone and talking about our new situation, cancer. At the time I was filled with a peaceful feeling and warmness went through my body and I smiled because I knew Kathryn would make it through and we would be ok. From that point on I really didn’t worry about her cancer. I never thought about the possibility of her not making it through surgery. I knew she was going to be ok. Though there were times that were hard during her treatment the first time around I never thought that she would not be ok. I was given that peace that one day and it stayed with me. I smiled this time too as I knew I was finally ok with Kathryn leaving this world. I was finally given the message that she was safe, happy and all was good. Kathryn is in Heaven with the ultimate love surrounding her. I had been waiting for this feeling as I never forgot about that one day back in 1999 when I first had this feeling of peace go through me. I was hoping for it way back when Kathryn was rediagnosed back in 2010. I never got that feeling. When my friend laid hands on Kathryn I thought I would get the feeling but didn’t. When the healer came to the hospital and again to our house I thought I would get this feeling, but I didn’t. I was hoping it would come to me all the time but it never did until just the other day. I wanted to mean that she would be ok here on Earth but that wasn’t the case. The feeling is to give me peace that she is with God.
So, as the week went on I found another Kathryn Elizabeth. Many of you heard about the woman who was beaten by her boyfriend or husband and left for three days without medical attention. She died from her injuries. When I read the name I thought again I must be receiving a message. I thought this because I had a terrible dream a while ago that I didn’t want to mention because it was bad. It was about Kathryn dying by the hands of someone terrible. A bad suffering. When I had this dream I thought I was being told that I should feel good that Kathryn didn’t suffer. I felt I was being reminded that she died peacefully and painlessly. I was able to be with her and give her comfort. Maybe me reading this obituary was just another reminder for me. I don’t always read these but I did that day and it jumped out at me. Unbelieveable.
So, Rowan is turning four in just a couple of weeks. I’m so excited to join her and her parents for her birthday. Her Mom wrote to me about a lady who lost her 4 year old daughter. I guess she was at the Burzynski clinic last November at the same time we where there. I never met her. She may have had her appointments later in the afternoon where ours were in the mornings. Her daughter passed away in February like Kathryn. Her family had received funds to help with the cost of treatments and she wanted to share this money with Rowan’s family for Rowan’s treatments. Rowan’s Mom (Rebecca) didn’t know how to respond. She was afraid she would not say the right thing. She feared the Mom was wondering why her daughter died and Rowan is responding to the treatment. I assured her that this woman is thinking just that. As I had those thoughts myself. Of course you want to know why my daughter? Why did my daughter have to die? Why didn’t my daughter get to live? I also assured her that she wanted Rowan to live. She is a Mom and doesn’t want another Mom to feel the pain she has suffered. She wants Rowan’s treatments to continue to be successful. I told her to accept the gift and thank her. That’s all she needs to do. We all want Rowan to be the success story. We are her cheerleaders even from afar.
I caught part of another Katie show and it was about happiness. Wow, it hit the nail on the head. One of the things said on the show was that people who give money or things away are more happy than those who don’t. Giving to others makes people happy. Kathryn was so concerned that we didn’t get to the giving tree last year. I just didn’t have the time to do it. I will this year as I have many times in the past. Wrapping a gift for someone you know would have received anything without your help feels so good.
My Mom and I were talking about this giving. She shared how she was at the little grocery store in Eatonville the other day and they had a donation basket along with a list of things that they needed. She filled her basket and donated all but three items. She doesn’t have a large some of money or a very big income but she has a huge heart! I told her how Scott and I were out for dinner Wednesday night and a young couple sat across the isle from us. They had a 6 month old baby girl. We talked a bit with them. As we left Scott went to the hostess and asked her to apply this $20 towards their bill. The hostess was taken back. She went straight to the table to give the young couple the money. She was so excited. So this made us feel good to share, made the hostess happy to share the good news and I’m sure put a smile on the faces of this young couple. Scott is very generous. He gives money to his friend from Hawaii who has Parkinson’s. He gives him money for yoga and materials to continue his painting. He’s the one who painted the portrait of Kathryn. Giving is a good thing. The Katie show also talked about happiness in terms of dollars. It was stated that the rich are not necessarily happy. They have to work to keep it all going. They have more worries and concerns. They said that people who make around $75,000 a year are the happiest. I found this interesting. I have always said I never wanted to be rich. I wanted to have enough to do things but I would be fearful of being rich. I’m right where I want to be and I am happy with life.
A very strange thing happened to us. Last night when we went to bed we left the camera hooked up to the computer as we were uploading over 600 pictures from the camera to the computer. When Scott got up he notice that there was an error message. So he had me look at it. When I took a look there weren’t any pictures on the camera or on the computer. I saw the pictures uploading and saw the pictures on the camera and now they were not there. I took a closer look and the memory card was gone too. Where did it go? We looked and looked. It should have still been in the camera but it was not there and it was in the camera. I found it on a box on the desk down in the kitchen. Why and better yet, how did it get there? As I went down stairs I had a cool breeze go through me and give me the chills and again as we discussed this memory card. Was it Kathryn? I don’t know but we both talked to her and thanked her for helping us find it. The box it was on is a wooden box with a glass top that has our family photo in it from our 2010 Christmas card. We are all wearing hats including the animals in support of Kathryn. I think there was a message there about family. Scott and I just went to counseling Friday night. Maybe Kathryn was confirming our commitment. Scott and I have no other explanation for this memory card making its way downstairs and onto the desk.
This is the site for the article by the doctor. It is a must read.