Dates 10-20-12
Early in the week (Monday) Scott was up in Kathryn’s room
feeding the fish. He always talks
to her when he is in her room.
When he walked out in the hallway the entry light flickered. He said something to her again and it
flickered again. And one last time
after he mentioned it to me and said her name. The light has never flickered before and hasn’t flickered
since. We always appreciate when
we get little signs like this.
I also received a message from a friend who sent an invite
to Kathryn by way of Facebook by accident. She really felt bad and apologized. I told her not to be sorry, as I like
it when people send messages to Kathryn on her Facebook page. It makes me feel like people still
remember and care for her. I check
her page once and a while and love it when I find sweet messages from her
friends.
On Wednesday I went to the Camp Goodtimes staff appreciation
dinner. What a great family this
is. I really mean it. The people who give as volunteers to
Camp Goodtimes are very special people. Everyone feels loved and
appreciated. I always feel loved
and welcome by this group. After
the dinner and the presentation I met with a couple of people about the Wine
Auction, which is a big fundraiser for Camp Goodtimes. I have offered to help out with the
auction. The auction is in April
but they are having a mingle night for big corporate people. At this event there will be camp people
there to mingle with the corporate people to share what camp is all about. I was asked to be the quest speaker for
this event, which is November 8th.
I was also asked this past week to speak on the 27th
at the Youth Summit for Relay for Life.
I had to decline because we will be in California for Rowan’s “Make A
Wish” and 4th birthday.
This is BIG!
Thursday night we went to the LeMay Museum for a little get
together for members of the Auto Club.
It was nice. We met some
great people and had a good time.
This one couple shared about the cool trip they took to Europe and
toured with the Audi Group. It was
fabulous. We were talking and I
told them about our trip last spring.
During the talk it came up that our trip was a get away and refresh trip
after Kathryn’s passing. Of course
they said things like, I just couldn’t imagine, I don’t know what I would
do. I thought this too before I
lived it. You do go on and must go
on.
I remember going to a funeral of a boy who had shot himself
in the bathroom at Stadium. I
don’t know how I didn’t hear the shot as I always went out the basement door
about the same time that he shot himself.
His Mom was Kathryn’s preschool teacher. And as she spoke at the funeral she started with a
scream. Wow, I thought at the
time. But I also thought that it
was appropriate for her to feel the way that she did and she was just letting
us all know what she was feeling.
I also went to the funeral of a boy who was killed on the highway while
riding his bike. I couldn’t
believe how calm his mother was as she spoke in front of the church just as I
did for Kathryn. I also remember
being at the Tacoma relay serveral years ago after a Mom had just lost her
daughter to cancer. I knew both of
them from the clinic and I couldn’t understand how she could speak about her
daughter so calm and without breaking down. I also listened to the Dad of Kathryn’s little friend Gloria
from camp. Gloria was 11 or so
when she died from cancer. This
was just two years before I spoke at relay. He spoke so well.
I was so impressed. He
talked about his daughter and how she was such a trooper. How she volunteered to be in a study to
maybe help others. She was a
beautiful girl. So, my point
is: You pull yourself together and
do what you need to do. You do it
for your child and other families.
In my friend’s blog she wrote about the fall being difficult
or just that there are so many dates that have no so good memories to
them. He daughter passed away
August 16th 2007. I may
have the year wrong. But then she
said how October brought about the cancer diagnoses. Oh, how the dates hunt us. October 12 marked my last day of work last year. The 13th was the MRI that
showed something but it was inconclusive.
The had to wait until the 17th to have the spectroscopy done
and on the 19th Kathryn ask, “How long do I have?” The answer was 3 to 6 months. More dates in the fall to come and then
the winter. We have dates all year
long with exception of the summer.
The summer we just get to remember the summer parties, Camp Goodtimes,
Camping at Twanoh and playing in the back yard.
Friday night we were going to go to the dessert auction at
my school to support our Booster Club.
I had intended to go but after I ran with one of my friends that
afternoon I could hardly walk. As
someone else told me, “You aren’t 18 you know.” Maybe not and but I will continue to try to get back into
shape. I can do it! I felt bad missing the auction but the hot
tub was a much better choice.
We have so many good memories. But it is Kathryn we would like to have. I read in the obituaries today
(Saturday) a poem to this effect.
Of course we would love to have her here but that is not to be. I wrote to one of my friends that our
girls are in a far better place and that they are the lucky ones.
Today I also went to listen to a long time friend play his
music at a farm while people picked their goods. Some bought pumpkins; some bought apples and took them to
where they would press them into cider.
I bought some honey and a CD of my friends. My friend Robin and my Mom went with me. Scott met us there. After we came home my Mom wasn’t
feeling well. I think she got the
flu from her flu shot. So, Scott
and I are trying to make her comfortable.
It is so hard to see her not feeling well. It worries me.
She had a fever too but she didn’t want to take anything for it. Maybe a good nights sleep will help
after her hot bath. Just checked
on Mom and she is loving the bath.
Scott and I sat in the hot tub and looked for the meteor
shower. I saw one shooting
star. I think we will check it out
again just before bed. Tomorrow I
will get my bags packed for California.
The flight is booked, the hotel is booked, the rental car is booked, my
sub is assigned and we are just about ready. I need to get the rest of Rowan’s gift and go to the post
office to have it ready for her Mom and Dad to mail it home from
California. They will have plenty
to carry with Rowan and her meds.
This way she can open the gifts and use them a bit and then they can be
sent home through the mail.
Good Night
Is rowan the little girl you all met at the clinic In Houston?
ReplyDeleteYou have the date right. You are so kind and compassionate, Carol. Sending hugs to you and Team Bradley. God bless little Rowan and her family, too; I hope you have a wonderful time with them in California.
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