Love My Kids 9-26-12
My children have always been my pride and joy. They are perfect in my eyes. I get complements about them, strangers have come up to me and tell me just how wonderful they are. Both Richard and Kathryn have a way with people. Maybe that is why I love spending time with them. To me they are the best kids there ever was or will be.
Monday Richard came down to see me. He arrived just before I got home from work. I canceled an appointment and a dinner date to hang out with him. I put time with him first. We took Princess for a walk and talked about life. I remember that was one of Kathryn’s favorite things to do. She wrote it in her book. She liked to go for walks with her family. Richard and I went out for dinner since I had nothing in the fridge but condiments. We went to Boat House 19 in Tacoma. I really like this place, but don’t order the fried oysters. It was nice to spend the evening with him. Knowing that he was in his room sleeping that night made me feel real good.
At the gym on Tuesday I ran into several people I know. One was a teacher from Mason. I taught there years ago and many of the same staff members are still there. It was a hard decision to move when I did but I needed to teach something more challenging and mind motivating at the time. I was beginning to feel brain dead. Some day I would like to teach at the college level but never if I have to get a doctorate. A master’s degree is as far as I plan on going. And that has been done. I taught for Seattle Pacific University the past couple of years and loved it. The teacher I was talking to at the gym has a 19-year-old daughter. She said she just couldn’t imagine what she would do or how she could go on if her daughter passed. I said that so many times in my life. In fact I was quoted in the paper as saying, “I don’t know what I would do without Kathryn.” I saw a lot of parents lose children over the years. I couldn’t believe how strong they all seemed. I didn’t know how they did it. But I’m there now. I’m one of them. And I know what they do. You do go on because you have to. As my friend at the gym said, “What would Kathryn want for you?” Happiness was my answer. I know she would want me to be happy and go on with life, living it with spirit, joy and love. I know what those parents do when they are on their own too. They may smile and appear happy but there are times when that fountain of sorrow just rises up. Missing Kathryn is the most difficult thing in my entire life. I have had many disappointments and hard times but this certainly out does them all. But as I told my friend you do pull yourself together and go on. Remembering how Kathryn always celebrated life really helps me pick myself up and go.
Another friend invited me out to the movies. Kathryn loved going to the movies. She really liked attending the opening shows. On time we were in Hawaii and had tickets for the opening show but when we got to the theater there were not enough seats. Such a bad deal. We did go to this movie the next day and waiting in line for an hour. It was Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Kathryn would know the real name of it. She loved Johnny Depp. I think she watched every movie he was ever in.
Today was the first day of School up at Western Washington University. So many first days of school in our past. This should have been Kathryn’s senior year. The world really got shorted. She would have been such an awesome child life specialist. She would have helped so many kids. She would have given so much comfort and brought smiles to little faces that were fearful.
Richard is excited about his Geometry class. He had started it last fall but had to drop it as we left town to go to Houston. That was on class he just couldn’t do with out being in class. He also picked up his new stand up paddleboard Tuesday and took it out after school today. He really likes it. I’m so glad he is such an outdoor type of guy.
Scott will be home tomorrow. He has been out of town. That’s why the frig was empty when Richard was here on Monday. Scott is looking forward to barb-b-q. I’m looking forward to his good cooking too. Yummy!
There was a poster on Facebook today. It said, “Be kind to everything that lives.” Kathryn lived this way. As I watered the plants outside last night there was a huge spider. He was very big and fat. I thought about squishing him but then I thought about my dear sweet Kathryn. She would say, “No, don’t kill him Mom.” I didn’t even squirt him down with the hose. I thought about it but I let him be. I was kind to this big fat spider. He is a living creature and so I let him continue living.
Well, that’s it for now.