Weddings 8-13-12
I know I haven’t made a post in a couple of days. Sorry for that.
We had a 60’s Party on Saturday evening. It was a great time. Richard’s girlfriend Bee came and
helped me prepare food and set up on Friday. Of course there was a lot more to do on Saturday. Dash also came over and helped by doing
all of the ribs. I thought about
Kathryn the entire time as I prepared for the party. I thought about how she helped last year for my 50th
birthday party. How she made it so
fun with her bucket of things to put on for photos. Kathryn and I have collected so many things over the years
for dressing up. She had her
things so well organized so it was easy to find things that we could use. Richard had flown down to Reno Firday
morning to help Mitch drive back.
Mitch was in a class and it ended on Friday. The two of them left Reno Friday around 5:30pm and arrived
to at our house at 5:30am. I
happened to be up letting the cat out when they drove up. I sure love those boys.
Richard and Bee made delicious sushi. They wok so well together.
Late in the evening my two friends and I stayed up by the
bond fire and talked. Late into
the night. My one friend is moving
from her home that she and her first husband built together some 20 or more
years ago. Her first husband died
from throat cancer. She is really
having emotional problems with thinking about selling this house. I told her that it is only a building. Just like selling some of Kathryn’s
things I had to remind myself that it was only stuff. We can’t hang on to all of the material things. Her new home is for her and her current
husband. It will be a good change
for them and make life easier as her husband’s commute right now is so
long. One to two hours one way
every day. This is just too
much. They will be happy to have
less work and a shorter commute. I
think she felt better after we talked.
It is hard to let go but some times it is for the best.
On Sunday I was pretty tired as I had maybe two hours of
sleep. I had promised my Mom I
would drive her to my cousins wedding in Seattle and I did. My cousin who got married was
adopted. It was a closed adoption
but she had searched for her biological mother the last two years and found her
just shortly before the wedding.
When I sat down I sat next to a very friendly couple. I asked how they knew the bride and
groom. They said friends and then
a little later the she told me she was the bride’s biological mother. She knew the bride’s mother really
didn’t want her there but the bride did so she came but wanted to keep a very
low profile. She shared with me
that she just was young at the time and the father had left her. She didn’t have a way to provide for a
baby. She wanted her child to have
a good life. She said it wasn’t
about her, it was all about her baby.
Her decision was for the baby.
She chose my cousin and her husband because they were good people and
there was also something about having common birthdays. Later in her life she got married to
the man she was with. They tried
over and over to have a child. She
had three different surgeries but was never able to have a second child. I sure felt bad for her. She was watching her only child and the
only one she would ever be able to have get married that day and all along she
felt like she had to hide. I gave
her a couple of hugs and told her she was a very kind and generous person to
give her baby up so her baby could have a good life. She could see that her baby did have a good life. She also shared with me that the bride
and her had so much in common. She
didn’t realize that genes even controlled things like likes and dislikes. They even use the same hair coloring. They have the same favorite color and
on and on. Kathryn and I had so
much in common too. She was a part
of me. We lived together and
shared so much.
So many of my friends have children finishing college and
getting married. There is
something I will never get to do.
I will never get to help my daughter plan her wedding. Kathryn and I talked about this so many
times. We talked about dresses and
who would be in her wedding. She
wanted an outdoor wedding. She
even talked about having the wedding in our backyard. She didn’t want a big wedding but you know she had so many
friends that it would be way too big for our back yard. It’s really hard to watch others get
married and hear friends and family plan and prepare for their daughter’s
weddings. I will never do this
with my little girl as we dreamed of so many times. I was supposed to make her dress too.
Bee (Richard’s girlfriend) and I were talking. We talked about weddings and
dresses. She and Richard had gone
to a wedding the week before and we discussed things about this wedding. She also described the dress she would
like. It will be beautiful. She has a great figure and it will look
so good on her. She and Richard
had talked about weddings a little and Richard said something about
eloping. Bee set him
straight. She said he couldn’t do
that. As his wedding would be the
only wedding for me and her wedding would be the only wedding for her Mom. I don’t know if you all remember but
she lost her sister to brain cancer too.
Her Dad also passed away from cancer. So a wedding for Richard and Bee would be a very special
day.
Monday – Richard and Bee left about 10:00 or 10:30 am. It is such a let down when they go and
I am home alone. They know just
how I feel too. They reminded me
several times that I will see them in just a few days. Scott and I are going up to Bellingham
and will be their houseguests this weekend. We are going for Mitch’s graduation on Saturday. Richard said as he left today, “ I need
to get your room ready for you this week.” He’ll be doing it on his own, as Bee will be in Seattle all
week working as a nanny. We’ll
also be going camping late next week.
I hope to have several of my kids with me while camping. We have such a good time. This will be the first year without
Kathryn. I will miss my little
camping buddy. I would always let
Richard and Kathryn bring a friend or two. There were a couple of years that Kathryn chose not to bring
any friends. She said that I would
be her camping friend. That’s just
how close we were.
I’m sitting here in the house by myself and just
crying. I don’t like being
alone. I use to like the quiet
time by myself but now I don’t. As
I was sitting her I heard something fall.
I ran upstairs to see what it was and finally found that the collage
poster of Kathryn that is in the poke-a-dot room had fallen. The window was open and I guess the
wind made it fall. Funny that it
should fall as I write about Kathryn.
I just can’t believe she is gone. I miss her so very much. It just isn’t fair that she had to die.
Carol, We are so excited to see you, Scott and Richard this weekend! I hope that we can all have lunch or something after the ceremony. Here is my cell if you want to touch base with me anytime this weekend! Julie 720 470 3644
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I think of Kathryn it is always a warm feeling I get. She was such a possitive soul and still is! You did have a special bond that will always be there.{{<3}}
ReplyDelete