Six Months/Garage Sale 8-2/8-3-12
Yesterday was Thursday August 2nd 2012. This marked yet another week and now 6 months since Kathryn passed away. Now I know why I was hit with the sick bug yesterday. It seems that my strong emotions can really take me down. I wasn’t even aware of being so upset but I must have been. After going through things in the garage and coming across so many things that Kathryn made I guess it got to me. So yesterday I woke around 4 am and had a really bad headache. I took some prescription pain meds and went back to bed. I got up around 6:30 with the same headache and thought a shower would help. I felt dizzy and nocuous in the shower and shortly after getting out I got sick. Nothing in my tummy so it was that nasty stomach acid stuff. My Mom came down to spend the day with me and we both just laid around and watched the Olympics. I ate some crackers and had some 7-up around 1pm when my tummy finally felt like it could handle something.
Before I went to sleep last night I was sitting up in bed watching the end of a show (4 weddings). As I sat there I imagined Kathryn sitting next to me as she would sometimes. I put my arm out and around as if it were around her and rubbed the bed as if I were rubbing her little hand. She probably would have been there with me watching this show if she were here on Earth. But she isn’t.
Last night I had weird dreams about Kathryn. Very vivid in my mind too. We were going through her things for the garage sale but I couldn’t let anything go. There were cute little brightly striped boots. There were dresses and jewelry. Everything was reminding me of special times with her. Then we were picking out outfits (My Mom was doing it mainly) for a viewing. At least that was what it seemed like it was for. And it was as if there were going to be many viewings. We had to pick out four outfits. We were also in charge of preparing her and my Mom was fixing her eyelashes. Only she was trimming them and I had her stop. It was so real. You know how sometimes you can’t really remember dreams, well this time I can replay it in my mind at will.
I also want to thank all of you who donated to Rowan. The amount donated has really gone up since I asked for help. Thank you so very much.
http://www.giveforward.com/rowanscancerfund If you would like to donate to Rowan here is the link.
Today (Friday) I took Princess to Chambers Bay for a walk but she started to limp so my friends stayed with her while I got the car. When I got home I started to gather things for the garage sale. I went through stuff in Kathryn’s room. I had to remind myself that it is all just stuff. Still I couldn’t get rid of a lot of things just yet. Many of the things bring back memories of us shopping together. We had lots of shopping dates. She had so many shoes too. Just like me. I couldn’t take them all out of her room. I guess I don’t want to see her room empty. I also reminded myself that this is all for Rowan and Kathryn would be happy that her stuff will help fund Rowan’s treatment.
Maybe I will dream better dreams about Kathryn tonight. I’m off to continue setting up for the sale. Hope there is a small person who comes by and wants to buy a bunch of clothes.