Back to Work 8-28-12
So yesterday was Tuesday the 28th and my first day back to work. My last day was October 12th 2011. It’s been a long time. Tuesday was a tech training day. Our grading program and attendance program have changed. It’s not so bad. At least I’m learning with everyone at the same time. It would have been a real bummer if they got the new program last year and I came back this year to a new program and no training.
On my way to school I called my Mom to make sure she knew I hadn’t forgotten her anniversary. I didn’t call the day before (the real anniversary date) because I didn’t want to call at the early or late hour that I was thinking about it. It would have been 57 years for my Mom and Dad. She shared with me a dream she had about Kathryn. She said it was so clear and Kathryn’s words were so clear. I’m glad that she had such a nice dream with Kathryn. One of my coworkers asked me about me dreaming or feeling Kathryn’s presence. I said I haven’t felt her presence or smelt that sweet smell for a long time now. I have had only a couple of dreams with Kathryn in them. It disappoints me. But he said I should be happy. He said that means that she is busy doing what she needs to be doing and exploring and her spirit is here. He made me feel a bit better. He said can’t you just see her being busy and helping and doing new things and having a good time? I had to agree that Kathryn would be so interested in her new life and finding out new things and helping others that she would be very busy. It is her nature to keep moving and doing. Both of my children are like that. They would never not be involved. So I try to think in this way. It helps. I have prayed though that God would talk to me. I want to know if Kathryn is truly happy and doing great things. I want to know that she is ok not being here on his beautiful Earth. She loved life so much and appreciated the beauty of this Earth. I just want to know these things and why she was taken from me. His answer to my friend that her duty was short is just not enough. What was her duty? That would be nice to know. Maybe if I ask enough times I will get some answers from him. I sure would like to know a bit more.
It was nice to be at the training and I felt so loved and welcome. Everyone is so kind. It makes all of this a bit easier. I actually think coming back to work will do me good. I will be very busy and this will keep my mind busy so I have less time to dwell on my loss.
I went out to lunch with a few staff members and one dear friend bought my lunch for my birthday. Thank You!
Today was Wednesday the 29th and it was Cougar Kick off Day. This was the day I was not looking forward to because Kathryn usually helped me with setting up my room. I had a lot of cleaning and sorting to do so I was pretty busy all day. Keeping busy did keep my mind off of missing Kathryn. I did notice that my calendar was gone. So strange as it has been on that same bulletin board for several years now. Kathryn had hand drawn the artwork on this calendar so it is very important to me. I’m really bummed that it is missing. I left a message with my former sub to see if she tucked it away somewhere. I sure hope so. I loved that calendar and it was a very special piece of Kathryn’s work. She made it just for me and I treasured it. I hope it shows up.
I also completed my parent letter today. I said I had two children but then I also explained that Kathryn had passed away in February. I left that part short with just enough info but not too much. I think I will have students read it silently to themselves so I don’t have to read it and hear it 5 times on Tuesday.
I met a lot of new students today and was also greeted by many former students. One student ask. “How are you doing?” in that sweet concerned tone. I couldn’t help but tear up. I tried not to make her feel bad. It just hit me and I couldn’t hold it in. Another parent saw and stepped out of the room. She didn’t know me. I told her it was ok and to come back in. I quickly explained and she said I certainly had the right to tear up and she gave me a big hug.
Oh, I also pulled something off my podium that was covering the front of it. And there the kids had added to the Mrs. Bradley, We miss u. So the front of the podium read, “We Miss U Mrs. Bradley.” I was touched by this. Kids usually have very tender hearts and this was just one little piece of proof.
Tomorrow is our staff day. I hope to have all of my things that will be handed out on Tuesday ran off and ready to go tomorrow. Well, I will still have my Geometry assignment sheet to write up but I can get that done over the weekend and I really don’t need to hand it out until Wednesday. It’s all good. One thing I have noticed about myself, I’m so less uptight and stressed. I’m so much more laid back and relaxed. I guess I have learned that it is so much more important to enjoy life than it is to stress over things.
I have a new yearbook program too. There are a lot of differences from the other program. It will just take some time for me to get use to all the new stuff. It will be new to the kids too so it will be fine. We will learn things together. I actually played around with it tonight and I ran into some difficulties but I’m working through it. Before I would be stressing out over this new program but I’m not. It will actually make life easier as it is an online program. I don’t have to be at school on one of only 6 computers that have the program installed on it. My rep is awesome and I kind of have two reps that will be working with me. They are nice and close so if I run into trouble I should be able to get help right away. It’s all good.
I need to get to bed as 6 am comes very early. I’m not use to having to get up and be somewhere so early. It’s good practice for next week.
I must request a prayer form you all. My dear friend Leslie has been in the hospital with ????? They thought Scarlet fever but I guess that isn’t it. Her skin is all red and she has a fever. She doesn’t need this as she already has that nasty thing called cancer (Multiple Myeloma). Some of you know that is a cancer with no cure. So ask God to get her out of the hospital. Pray that the doctors can figure this out so they can help her.
Thank you everyone. Don’t for get our little Rowan too when you say your prayers.