August 21, 2012

August 21, 2012

Yesterday I received a phone call from a lady I met over a year ago.  She was selling sweaters at the Breast Cancer walk in Bellevue “Making Srides” that I would work at through Wired.  She said she had my card in her bible and prayed for Kathryn every day.  Kathryn had so many people praying for her.  She called to see how Kathryn was doing and of course I had to tell her what had happened.  She said she was afraid to call and this was why she was afraid.  I told her I was really glad she called.  We talked for about 10 to 15 minutes.  I almost didn’t answer the phone as I was just heading out the door for a meeting with my yearbook rep.  I told her about Rowan and told her to now pray for Rowan and her family.  She took down Rowan’s information and said she would now pray for Rowan.  I promised Rowan’s link so here it is: http://www.giveforward.com/RowansCancerFund

I worked on school stuff the rest of the day after meeting with my yearbook rep.  I had a lot of cry time again.  It is hard to be at home and have it quiet.  My mind goes to Kathryn always. 

Later in the day I turned on Dr. Oz and who should be his guest but the Long Island Median.  Oh boy did I listen.  I took it all in and really cried.  Listening to her really made me think that Kathryn is here listening and watching.  I really hope she is here.  I would love to meet with this lady sometime.  I wish I had her talent. Maybe I will get it some day.  Maybe I will learn how to connect with Kathryn

I also received this beautiful poem from a friend.  This poem I have put down here for you to read.  The words are perfect for how I have been feeling.  They really touched me.  It’s at the end of the blog.

Today (Tuesday) I got up and thought I would get a bunch of stuff done.  My stomach wouldn’t let me.  I felt sick most of the day.  Got sick a little.  This always starts out the same with a headache, neck ache and then the sick tummy.  I can’t function like this and spent most of the day on the couch.  Scott pointed out that every time I am planning something that I would normally do with Kathryn I get this way.  Well, I am going camping on Thursday and today I was planning on shopping and organizing.  Getting food ready and such.  Yes, normally this would be a great time with Kathryn and I guess my sickness is my body’s stupid way of I don’t know.  I guess I get sick thinking about our fun activities and her not being here with us.  Is it stress or depression?  I don’t know.  But it sucks. I haven’t slept well for days now and hope tonight I can sleep by taking some advil PM.  My doctor renewed my prescription for my sleep aid and I don’t know exactly what day it will arrive.  The original one couldn’t be refilled until September 11^th.  I told him I couldn’t go on not sleeping that long.  He is a great doctor and truly understands my situation. 

I finally felt a little better around 3:30 or so.  I was able to get some things done so tomorrow I won’t have so much to do for camping.  Richard will be here tomorrow to help.  He’s a good man.  Scott brought me flowers.  He’s a good man too.  I’m lucky to have the two of them in my life.

Good Night!