Twenty First Birthdays
I started with my walk at 7am. Came home, read the paper and took another walk with Princess. I started banana bread and laundry and then headed out to my friend’s house to help her with some yard work. While doing yard work I started to cry thinking of Kathryn. I tell you, it is not getting easier. It seems to be harder. I think it is because it is becoming more and more real. My mind use to make me believe she was coming home and now I really know that she is not coming home.
I came home and painted. While painting I cried too. I think Klyde misses Kathryn too. He seems bored and wants attention. If Kathryn were here she would be playing with him. I feel sorry for him so I try to give him attention.
I looked in the cabinet above the desk last night and found our Christmas card and letter. Kathryn had written the letter and part of what she said was that she was turning 21 this year and it will be a big deal. Yes, turning 21 is a big deal. It was a big birthday for Richard too (25) and I had just turned 50. It was suppose to be a very special year for all of us. We did celebrate my birthday really big. Even though Kathryn passed away just three days before her 21st birthday we still celebrated. She would have loved the party we had for her. Unfortunately we didn’t get to celebrate Richard’s as big as I would have liked to.
Matt (the boy Kathryn was dating) is turning 21 today (7-11-12). We were in Mexico at this time last year. Kathryn and I spent one morning, while Scott and Richard went golfing or fishing, shopping for Matt’s birthday present. We had to look and look and dicker with prices to get the perfect gift. Kathryn did a great job of making the deal. When we came home she and Matt celebrated his birthday.
I went walking again today and as my friend shared a story with me about a man whose son died in his sleep and how now this man has stage 3 tongue cancer I felt again lucky. I’m not saying I have it easy but I know that I was able to share time with Kathryn and tell her that I loved her. Scott, Richard and I are all healthy and doing well. We have a comfortable life. I am lucky.
After walking I went to the hospital to visit a friend who was hit by a car last week. Her son was friends with Kathryn. She is doing fine and very fortunate that she doesn’t have more serious injuries. She said God was with her and watching out for her. She also said she was praying for the person who hit her. She said he had to be filled with grief. I can’t imagine what he must be thinking after hitting someone with a car and then just taking off. Hopefully he comes forward so he can heal too. I’m so glad I went to visit her.
I came home and painted. I used the same brush that Kathryn used to paint her room in Bellingham. She painted it in October of 2011. Yes, just a couple of weeks before she was given the bad news. She painted with her left hand as her right hand was not working well for her. She was determined to keep doing what she wanted to do. She wasn’t about to let the right hand issue keep her down. She never gave up. I thought about her as I held that brush. She even picked out a good brush to use. I must say that when I saw her paint job it was very well done. I was proud of her.
A pretty good day. Only a few tears while painting.