Saturday was a day at Camp Goodtimes. I arrived at the ferry and was one car
short of making the 9:15. Such a
bummer being that close and not making it. So I took a little walk around and checked out the bait
house and things. First on the
10:05. As I drove towards camp I
got this new feeling inside of me.
It was a feeling of relief for Kathryn. I haven’t had this feeling before. I have always felt so bad for her. But this time I felt good for her. It was like I was feeling good for her because she has no
worries anymore. She doesn’t have
to worry about feeling sick. There
are no more treatments. There are
no more pokes. There are no more
MRIs. There are no more clinic
visits. There are no more worries
about her hand not working right or being able to walk. No more worries about being able to
communicate. No more blood draws
and worries about weather or not her port will work. She doesn’t have to worry about hiding her pain so others
won’t feel bad. I know she did
this, as she would suck it up before anyone would visit or before she would go
out. She worked hard to be as
normal as she could. Now she is free. She is free to be happy, painless and
worry free.
As I write this I still think about how much I miss her and
want her back. And as I took the
last road turn towards camp I pictured Kathryn in her dinosaur costume out on
the field just having fun. Oh she
loved camp. I could also picture
her sitting on one of the counters in Arts and Crafts making lannies. She was the lanny Queen.
I had a real good time at camp. Kathryn’s good friend Lexie (Boots) is helping in Arts and
Crafts this week so it was nice to hang out with her. Everyone is so nice and just fun to be with. Since I was going back into town I was
asked to pick up a couple of things.
I like having a mission and helping out.
Last night Scott took me over to the job he has been working
on. What a difference. The house was a total pit before and
now looks clean and nice. It isn’t
all the way done but it is already a 100 times better. Then we drove to Office Depot to get
some pens for camp. As we were
pulling in there was a young lady walking with her little girl with long blond
hair. Oh, of course it make me
think of Kathryn and me walking together holding hands and how I would look
down at her and as this lady looked down to talk to this little girl. Scott knew exactly what I was thinking
as he looked at me when we parked and asked, “Are you ok?” I said yes as if I hadn’t even noticed
but he knew.
I had another dream with Kathryn in it. It was about us living in this house or
condo in the city. Strange house
for me. It is so hard to describe
dreams. Why is that? It makes me feel good to dream about
her.
Today I will head out to camp again to help with registration. I will also help with anything needed
in Arts and Crafts. I’m expecting
another wonderful with my camp family.
I’m including a link to Rowan’s celebration of life
page. It would be so great if each
of you reading my blog could donate to her. Even ten bucks because it all adds up. I’m such a goof at computers that I had
a difficult time donating and will try again on Tuesday when I have the time to
sit down and figure it out. I just
tried again and for some reason paypal is not connecting for me. I guess it isn’t me after all. I think I will just send a check and
forget the paypal thing myself. I
have included Rowan’s address if you would like to send a check instead of the
online deal. I will be donating
$100. When you see her Ice Cream
covered face you will see why we need to help her. Her little personality is just as sweet as the face.
Make it a Good Day!
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Rowan Baker
170 Burnstead Rd
Monson, MA 01057
Probably best to make checks out to her Mom Rebecca Paniagua
I think her Mom kept her maiden name. Her Dad is Chuck. They are a wonderful couple just trying
to save their daughter and it is working.
Money should not stop her from living.
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