Visiting School 6-5-12
Today I went out to school to sign my contract for next year. I worked with Julie our secretary on some paper work for the yearbook, visited with a few people and then had a long talk with our principal Jeff.
I felt bad not remembering the names of all the kids but my mind lost them all the day I left. Jeff asked me as well as others about next year. How I feel about coming back. Well, I am nervous but I know I can do it. I can do anything I really set my mind to. I will be so involved in the day that I will not have time for my mind to wonder to Kathryn. I did tell Jeff that he might find me during my planning period with my head down on my desk and sobbing. It may happen during the quiet time of the day. He just assured me it’s ok and they will all be there to support me. I feel I will be in a safe place surrounded by people who love me and will support me and help me get through each day. I’m hoping I won’t need too much help. But I know it will be there for me.
I’m still nervous because I have so many emotions. I did lose my only daughter. I cherished her so much and loved to spend time with her. We shared so many things. When I think of Kathryn I see a great deal of me in her now. The good parts of me that is. She was all good.
Well I have some plans to change a few things in my classes that should help. I’m hoping it will be a smooth year and my new ideas keep kids more involved. I will also need to explain my situation in my letter that I send home at the beginning of the year. Jeff’s going to read it first and I think that is a great idea. He’s good with words and can help me get it just right.
After visiting at school for about 3 hours I headed off to one of the teacher’s houses to visit. She had surgery and is out for two weeks. I call her our crazy art teacher. She really is a lot of fun. She has also done so much for my family and me. Taking her a latté seemed so small. But we did have a nice time.
Then I drove home to gather a few things for my relay friend Dani. She is on the committee for the Tacoma Relay and went over the Luminary Ceremony with me. I gave her a copy of my speech and also a zip drive of pictures of Kathryn. We also went over the Tom Mosich award and how that will all go on Saturday. It’s going to be a very busy weekend.
On my way home from meeting with Dani I stopped at Fred Meyers and ran into another person from the ACS. She said they missed me dropping off product (Wired and Cascade Ice) to them at the office for relays. They enjoyed getting out of the office and visiting with me. I shared with her that when I retire from teaching I hope to work with the ACS in the form of working with Camp Goodtimes. It would be great to work part time for something so good for kids. It would certainly be a feel good job. I like feel good jobs. I loved waiting tables because I usually made people happy. I love teaching because it is great to see your kids “get it.” My wired job was a super feel good job because I gave things away and everyone appreciated it so much. Working for Camp Goodtimes would make kids happy. The staff is fabulous. I’ll have to see what happens when the time comes.
Last night I didn’t sleep at all. Well, I fell asleep around 6 or 6:30 am and got up at 7:30 am. My mind wouldn’t let go f thoughts of Kathryn. Pictures flipping through my mind. I tried to make my mind think of something different but it just wouldn’t go there. I took one of my sleeping pills that are supposed to turn the thoughts off at 11:00 pm but it didn’t work. This was after I had gone downstairs to let Klyde in because he was meowing so loud. Around 1:30 I took another one and moved down stairs so I wouldn’t have to hear Scott snore. Princess followed me downstairs and jumped up into the rocking chair and guess what? She snored even louder than Scott. So I threw a pillow at her and she shifted a bit and didn’t snore so loud. Then Klyde, with his very loud voice started meowing to go out. I finally got up and he ran off. Then he meowed more and I chased him down and put him out. So, it must have been about 2:30 by now and no sleep. The rest of the night I tossed and turned with Kathryn on my mind. Scott got up around 6 or so and then I finally fell asleep. So, tonight maybe I will start with two sleeping pills to clear my mind. Hopefully I’m so tired that I will just fall asleep real easy.
Tomorrow I will work on clearing out our little bedroom we call the poke-a-dot room. I had plans to paint it very sophisticated with a solid bottom, a center boarder and some stripes on the top. All not so bright colors. Kathryn said that was no fun and I should paint the room with bright colors and poke-a-dots and I did. She actually came to the store with me and help pick the colors. It’s cute and very colorful. Repainting will be a challenge because I will have to probably sand all the edges of those pot-a-dots. That’s not going to happen for a long time. For now the poke-a-dots will stay. I’m cleaning this room out because Mitch (son 2) will be coming down this weekend and he will probably bring Kathryn’s bed from her room up in Bellingham. It will be a full day of work with all that stuff in there. This will also make me go through the artwork and get it hung in the hallway.
Good Night – Sleep Tight – Don’t let the bed bugs bite