22 Weeks 2-28-12
Last night I watched a show called “Final Witness”. It was a pretty horrific show. Two men had broken into a home and
killed the entire family and then set the house on fire. The father actually lived through all
of it and crawled through the woods to a neighbor’s house. This was a true story too. Things like this make me feel
lucky.
The story got worse.
The 16 year old daughter was the one who arranged this to happen to her
family. How could a young girl who
loved her family so much turn on them for a boy. Again this makes me feel lucky.
As I went to bed Scott was already sleeping. There he was laying in bed with
Kathryn’s pink little blanket draped over him. Sometimes just having something of Kathryn’s touching you
makes you feel better.
Today is another Thursday that marks another week (22
weeks). I handled it ok. I worked in the yard and this is quiet
time and you know that is thinking time.
It’s always been thinking time for me. It use to be the time I would barter with God. I would make promises to have him heal
Kathryn. I would offer myself in
place of her. I would beg him to
give me her cancer and set her free.
I would try to make him understand that she was too good to go and I was
not good enough to stay. Now the
talk is different. Now I ask
why. I ask to have her back. I remind him that he can do anything so
why not bring Kathryn back to us.
We all need her and want her.
I see things and remember – remember times with Kathryn. I lay in the warm sun and think of how
man times we laid in the warm sun together. She and I would sun bathe together all the time.
Tomorrow I will go to camp to help clean up Arts and
Crafts. Then I’m helping with the
dance. That should be fun.
I also talked to a friend who was on the Boata with the
campers on Tuesday. She said Matt
was a rare first timer to really get camp right off the bat. He was dancing and having fun. The campers were chanting his
name. He is having the time of his
life. I told my friend that he gets
camp because he had a wonderful role model (Kathryn). I’m sure after hearing her stories about camp and what they
all do at camp he probably felt pretty comfortable at camp, like he had already
been there. I’m so glad he loves
it.
Today was also June’s (Scott’s Mom) birthday. We lost her on Jan 2nd 2011.
Good Night
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