This Day has Changed 5-5-12

This Day has Changed 5-5-12

May 5^th…..  Well this use to be a day Team Bradley celebrated.  Not because of the Mexican celebration but because of Kathryn’s celebration.  On May 5^th 2000 Kathryn took her last dose of chemotherapy for 10 years.  This was Kathryn’s “No More Chemo Day.” We celebrated it every year until she was diagnosed all over in April of 2010 and then in 2011 my Dad died on May 5^th.  The day dropped off of the calendar as a day of celebration.   Kathryn really loved May 5^th because it was her win over cancer.  She was thrilled to have beaten the beast.  She was so proud to be a survivor.

On May 5^th now I remember my Dad and my little girl.  I remember the Dad I had who was so wonderful.  He loved us all with everything he had in his heart.  He wanted nothing more than for each of his children and his wife to have happy lives.  He also extended this wish to his grandchildren and daughter-in-laws and son-in-law.  He wanted everyone he loved to be happy.  I remember when I received the phone call.  I was thinking about my Dad as the phone rang and thinking that he had passed away.  I was not surprised because I had already felt his passing.  I was driving home from Everett at the time in the Wired Van and it was approximately 4:20. 

I also think of Kathryn and the little parties she would have to celebrate her “No More Chemo.’  I also think back on the big party we had for her that first year that she ended her chemo treatment.  I think back on what a little trooper she was during all of her treatments when she was 8.  Also how she took cancer and turned it into something that made her life full.  She lived with such zest! 

So today it was appropriate that I should be sewing that dinosaur costume.  A day to celebrate Kathryn’s life and my Dad’s.  A day to create joy for others by making this costume to be worn at Camp Goodtimes.  Working on it today I had to get out Kathryn’s and compare her costume to how I would make this one.  It was hard to look at her costume and know that it will never be worn by her again.  I also noticed that her costume has sparkles in it.  I don’t think I realized that the material I used for hers was full of sparkles.  It is and that is certainly Kathryn. 

Scott came in from outside to tell me that the Super Moon was out and so was Kathryn’s star.  There is a star that has been shining for Kathryn since we came home from Houston.  Scott also said he has a hard time looking up at Kathryn’s room from outside.  He would look up when she was alive but not well but here.  Now he looks up and knows the room is empty.  I told him it is hard for me to go into her room.  I cry every time looking at all of the pictures and wanting to tuck her in.

Shopping tonight at the grocery store was even tough.  I look around and everything makes me think of Kathryn.  StarBucks, cute dresses, turkey bacon, ground turkey, shampoo, bubble bath, and dishes all make me think of Kathryn.  She is in my thoughts everywhere and all the time.  Oh yes, I saw a man with special socks in his cart.  That was Kathryn too.  She loved special socks.  Cute angle socks were the best!

Happy No More Chemo Day Kathryn!

God Bless you and Grandpa Bud – Look over us