Thank you Matt 3-7-12
Finished the thank you cards. The hardest one to write was the one to Matt. How do you tell some one how mush you respect them and love them for loving your daughter. Matt was there for Kathryn the whole way through. He stayed optimistic and positive. He talked about the future. I know he would have stayed and been there in the morning with her when she passed away if we didn’t send him home. He had a hard time leaving her. She loved him that was obvious. He was the last one to get responses from her. I remember when they first started going out. I think Kathryn was a bit afraid of having a relationship. I remember talking to her about Matt in the summer of 2010. She was hesitant to say he was her boyfriend but she finally did.
Their relationship blossomed regardless of any fears. How could it not? Both Matt and Kathryn have wonderful loving hearts. Always so cute together. He always let her have her way. When it was tough for her to walk up the stairs he would just carry her. He would give her a piggy back ride. On the way to the car she stood on the top step of the outside stairs Matt would be at the bottom. Kathryn would wrap her arms around his neck and he would pick her up to carry her to the car. When we carved pumpkins Kathryn had a plan for this spaceship pumpkin. She wasn’t able to carve herself so she directed Matt how to get it done. None of us could imagine this spaceship pumpkin but Matt followed her directions and it turned out great. Matt was so cute when he told her his story about the unicorn and panda. They ended up having pandacorns as babies. He said his story wasn’t very good because Kathryn wasn’t directing him. On the first of February he asked me what we were planning to do for her birthday. He was optimistic. I hadn’t planned anything yet because I had seen this before and knew that we were so very close to the end of time. So, I told him I didn’t have a plan but that I better get one and probably should make her a birthday crown. A crown with sparkles of course.
We came to love Matt and wish the best for him. We do our best to keep in touch with him. What a great guy his is.
My sweet smell of Kathryn was here a lot yesterday. I was so happy and comforted by this sweet smell.
When night came and I went into her room the feelings of sadness were overwhelming. My whole chest hurt. It was all so real all of a sudden. This sadness happens and I can’t stop it. This sadness of reality just takes over and I can not control it. The tears rush down my face and the thoughts of Kathryn zip through my mind. I see her with me and I realize she won’t be there. It is so hard to know that this is the reality of it all. Still my heart wants to believe she is just away at college and will be home soon.
Scott said he called her phone yesterday. I had to laugh as I told him I called it the day before. I guess we both needed to hear her voice. One last way to keep her with us.
Today is supposed to be warmer and I hope to do some yard work. Take care!