The last three or four days have been real down days for me. I just laid on the couch most days until I had to get up for something. Never in my life have I wasted so much time just hanging out watching T. V. on the couch. I did go to my Mom’s house on Saturday for her cousin reunion. I also went to Katie Downs on Sunday to meet with my old friends but other than that I laid around feeling sorry for myself. This is not me. So today I told myself I wasn’t go to do this again. Not today! Today was going to be a better day and I wasn’t going to waste the morning again.
So, it started out the same as the other days but I told myself at 9 am I was going to get started on painting the hallway upstairs. When Nine came around I actually got up and changed into my paint clothes (very attractive clothing ) and got started. I was done by 12:30 and I felt good. I actually got something done. I did cry a bit while painting. You know how painting is the quiet by yourself kind of thing. Well, when doing something like this I think of Kathryn and I cry.
Richard and his girlfriend came down and we had lunch and I spent time chatting with them. Then I got started on painting the wall in the family room. Finished! Now all I have to do is put the things back up on the wall. It felt so good to get some things done. I also had some time to talk to a couple of friends.
I received a great card in the mail today too. This was the icing on the cake of a very good day. And I had that sweet smell of Kathryn around me a couple of times too. So cool. I just take it in and then talk to her.
Last night one of Kathryn’s friend posted a song she wrote for Kathryn in the day she died. Oh it brought me to tears. Such a nice gesture. Our friend Jocelyn is putting together a fundraiser in Kathryn’s honor. It will involve bakeries. We are going to meet next week. It sounds like it could be a big deal and raise a large amount of money for Camp Goodtimes.
You know this cancer thing is just too big. My neighbor lost his sister (53) to breast cancer on Friday. My aunt died of lung cancer on Saturday. And another friend lost his sister to a brain tumor a few months ago. This disease just takes too many people. So, keep praying for our little Rowan. Remember she is the 3 year old with a brainstem glioma that we met in Houston. She has had zero tumor growth since she started treatment in Houston. Also pray for my cousin’s husband. He has tumors in his sinuses. He is not doing very well and they have two small boys. He has been trying different experimental treatments and it doesn’t seem to be getting better. He has been sick a lot and in a great deal of pain. Our friend Leslie needs your prayers too. She also has cancer. She is young (in her 20’s). We need lots of prayers for all three of these dear people.
In my chat with one of my friends today she said something about Kathryn. Here was Kathryn fighting for her life and still living fully. Not feeling sorry for herself or expecting anything from anyone. Not wasting her life. She said Kathryn is a good example for those who think their lives as so bad that they turn to drugs and such. If she could live life the way she did with all the darkness of cancer surrounding her, these other people need to learn from her. I would say even if you are at the end of the road make those last few steps count. Kathryn did just that. She also had great support from family and friends. Unfortunately not everyone has this support. If you recognized a person who needs support I hope you will reach out to them. Even if it is just a smile and a warm hello. As Kathryn did for the boy on the bus, she went over and sat by him and held his hand just because she saw that he needed a friend.
I was also reminded of something a young man wrote about Kathryn to me. He said it didn’t matter how long they were apart (this could be years) Kathryn was always there to get together and it would always be like old times. The friendship was still there and time apart never changed that. They would be able to sit and chat and just share as friends do. I don’t think I said it as well as he did but you get the idea. I felt that way tonight as my friend shared some things with me and apologized for not staying in touch. I told her it didn’t matter how long it was between visits, she would always be my friend. Friends don’t unfriend each other just because they haven’t seen each other in a while (that could be years).
Well a busy day tomorrow. Yes, productive and not a couch potato! I think I may be on a roll for a while. Can’t waste time feeling sorry for myself. I can multi task. I can cry and be productive at the same time. Kind of kidding but not.
Good Night – Sleep well – Don’t forget to pray for my three friends