Pictures off boards 3-3-12
I finally finished taking all the photos off of the display boards. It took a long time to get all of the tape off. Then I had to organize them once again by dates.
As I went through them I saw so many sweet memories. There was a picture of her at 8 just a few days after surgery. I could tell because we had cut her long beautiful long hair to make a hair piece for when her hair would fall out.
There’s a picture of her per-cancer wearing her pink poodle dog skirt with her long hair pulled back in a ponytail. The skirt I made her. There she was later in the same pink poodle skirt but wearing her wig. The skirt hangs in her closet. She could still wear it as she was so tiny.
I saw pictures of her with as a tiny little girl so happy and normal. She was absolutely perfect. I have always wondered what happened to give her cancer. Did it happen because of that hard fall she had when she was 3? Did we use stuff in the yard that caused this? What did this? We know the second tumor was caused by the radiation she had with the first tumor but what in the world ever caused the first tumor?
There are many pictures of her with her bald little head. But you know she still had a smile on her face. She was still having fun and enjoying life. Then it seemed there were many pictures of this beautiful healthy girl. Not a girl with cancer. Just a girl with a life to live. She went to camp, played soccer, went to Disney Land, had lots of parties, she went to Europe and the East Coast. We went camping every summer. There were photos of family vacations, proms, relays, graduation and her first dorm room at Western. And that picture of her smiling so big at her Christmas party or send off party as she put it. I saw her with family and friends. One of the things she said she had to have to be happy. I saw her whole life in front of me remembering each event with each picture. She was living life to the fullest.
While organizing these pictures I was watching a show about albinos. This one young girl had no friends at all. I felt if she had gone to a school with Kathryn she would have had a friend. And then through Kathryn she would have had many friends. Compassion was one of the other things Kathryn said she needed to be happy. Having compassion for others made her happy.
As I look through Kathryn’s life I’m proud. I’m proud of what a wonderful person she was. I’m also proud of us as parents. We gave her a wonderful life. She was able to have so many experiences. We gave her love. I’m proud of her relationship with Richard. There are many pictures of the two of them hugging, laughing and sharing life together. She was truly happy. Happy with herself, with us, with her brother, happy with her life.
I still miss her and always will. But I do know that we gave her everything we could. We also did everything we could to save her life. She had a rich full life that most people would have loved to live.
Wow, and then I open the blog to that picture of her. She is so happy and beautiful. Taken just a few months ago. It is amazing how things changed so quickly. Remember those words. Life changes and it can change quickly. So, please make sure you make each day count. I know I am doing things that are painful right now but I am still doing my best to love those around me. To keep in contact with others. To do with my day what I need to do for myself. I’m not wasting my days. It would be easy to lay around and just cry and feel sorry for myself but I won’t. Wasting my day is wasting my life. I have been given a good life with lots of good people in it. Have I come to realize that I have so many good people around me. I’m going to take on that Kathryn attitude. The one I noticed so often. The one about sharing time with people. She loved to stay connected by just going out for coffee. I did that today by taking a walk with a friend and then by having dinner with another couple. Thank you all for being there for us.