"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much!" ~ Mother Teresa
I have thought of this quote often. If God doesn’t give me more than I can handle I just can’t imagine what he is thinking. Does he think I am made of steel? I just can’t figure how I am supposed to handle this. I guess I am doing it but it is tough. The roller coaster ride is one with big ups and downs. I guess he must really trust Richard, Scott and myself and many others who have been hit hard by Kathryn’s death.
I’ve also been thinking about our Christmas card. I know it is early to think of Christmas 2012. Our Christmas card has had a picture of all four of us on it for years. Kathryn is the fourth member of our family and I have been wondering how I will include her on the card. Do I take a picture from the past of her and add it to the card? Do we draw a picture of Kathryn and take a picture with it? I feel our card would not be complete without some representation of Kathryn. Any ideas?
Scott and I went to the cabin to ski with Richard and his girlfriend Katherine. This was a great thing to do since it kept us busy physically and mentally. It helped keep those sad feelings away. While I skied with Richard and Katherine today I did a little calculating. I have a lot of years on these guys (25 to 28 years). No wonder I get tired. I don’t usually ski through trees but I did today. Oh my goodness! The snow was so deep too. Thank goodness Katherine stayed close to me as I fell and got buried. She helped me up. It would have taken a very long while without her help. I was glad to hear that everyone, Katherine and three other friends all thought this was a tough run too. Not just me. Of course Richard just thought it was great!
It was a great time. Well, spending time with my kids (even ones I didn’t give birth to) is always the best. Scott and I do a pretty good job of keeping up.
On our way home there was something on the radio about a young woman who survived stage 4 colon cancer. Her comment made me think of Kathryn, “I have so much love and support around me that it would be a tragedy to give up.” Those could have easily been Kathryn’s own words. She never gave up because she had all the love and support of all of her family and friends. Even people who didn’t know her supported her. I had a woman one time call me over to her car once I had Kathryn in my car and she asked me for Kathryn’s name. She gave me a vile of holy oil and also told me she was going to pray for Kathryn. Something just touched her. It was probably Kathryn’s smile. Even walking out of the clinic after treatment she would smile.
We should always support and love one another. And we should never give up! I have a t-shirt that says “Never Give Up” on it. Good words to live by.
Going to watch “Project Runway” with Kathryn now. She’ll be here.