Memorial Video 3-6-12
My Mom had spent the night. We always enjoy having her here. She helped me with organizing and cleaning and just hanging out with me. We took a nice walk with Princess too. The neighbor’s cat (Kitten) went walking with us too. We got Kathryn’s room looking good and cleared some things out of the dinning and living room. Organized the upstairs hall closet and gathered ideas on what to do with other things. Getting there!
I thought I had lost Kathryn. I mean I hadn’t had that sweet smell around the last few days. I finally smelt it today a couple of times. I’m so glad. I thought Kathryn had gone for good. I never want her to go. A friend of mine shared that she lost at brother when he was 17 and she was 14. Her parents don’t really talk about him any more she said. I don’t want that to happen with us. Kathryn was our fourth team member and our team is only complete with her. I never want to stop talking about her. I hope we can always say, “Oh Kathryn would like that or Kathryn would think that was funny or Kathryn would want to pet that cat.” I don’t ever want to not think of or talk about Kathryn. I never want to forget or even let one day go by without her being spoke of or thought about. The only way we are complete is when we include Kathryn in our lives.
I made cookies today. Of course I thought about Kathryn and pictured her there with me making cookies. Just one of the many things we did together. She was just like me when it came to cookie baking. All the cookies had to be made before you or anyone else could eat them. For me it’s like looking over your final product before it gets touched. I think Kathryn was the same way.
Our neighbor took a video of the memorial. Actually he went through and took video of all of the displays, the cakes, all of the luminarias, the entire service and some after. He did an excellent job of getting everything. What a beautiful gift he gave us. Scott and I watched it tonight. Of course we cried but we are so happy we have it. I would have never thought to ask someone to do this for us. He volunteered and I am so glad he stepped forward and asked if he could do this for us. If you think of things that someone may want and you are able to do it for them please speak up and step up and do it. I am so grateful that he did this for us. We have our slide show and a few pictures that thank goodness Dash took for us. Thank you Dash for putting our slide show on a DVD and for the pictures you took. Now we also have the entire service, each display table and each and every luminaria bag on video. This is so great! Thank you Mike.
Tomorrow tackle the dinning room. Get it done! I also hope to get the rest of the thank you cards out.
Good Night – Sure hope I sleep tonight. I wake up and get this song in my brain and then think about Kathryn. Then I can’t get right back to sleep. I toss and turn for a while (an hour or so) then wake up again in about another hour. A full night’s sleep with a little REM time would be nice. I would love to have that deep sleep so maybe I could have a nice dream. I would love to be dreaming of Kathryn. Maybe tonight.
Oh how I miss her! She was my shining light. As I explained to my friend today, I will always cry about losing her. It won’t matter if it is a week from now or twenty years from now I will still cry because she is gone. When I became I parent I devoted my life to my children. As my parents raised me through their actions I was taught that you give yourself completely to raising your children. Your life is your family you are not a single person but a team. Scott and I bought into a time share vacation deal a long time ago to force us to take a vacation at least once a year. And we did. As you could see from the pictures we went on many trips. This was one commitment we made to our family. We did our best to create special memories for both Richard and Kathryn. We certainly had children to enjoy them. We enjoyed ever moment with Kathryn and will continue to enjoy our lives with Richard.
He’s such a great son. He sent his plan to me for finishing his fall classes that he had to leave. Leaving school to go to Houston to learn how to administer a treatment to your sister, how to draw her blood and how to take care of her is not something every young man would do. And then to continue to watch over her until she takes her last breath. This takes a special person with a special relationship with his little sister. To give completely and leave push your life aside with out a blink of the eye. My son is a wonderful man. He also sent his plan for finishing school. Two plans because his credits off a bit. Well, really it is the student teaching that is making things turn out off a bit. The student teaching through Western is not done in a quarter. It is longer than a quarter. If it were one quarter not a little over he could have finished everything by the end of next year 2013. But because of the student teaching he will have to go into the next year. So he has a quarter of nothing which he may take winter quarter off. Or he may continue and take the physics series. So, three quarters of physics. He will have to decide by fall.
Now it is really good night – Princess already went up to bed just like she does when we go camping.