Get Away 2-29-12
Today Scott and I headed up our cabin in Packwood. Actually we stay in the bunkhouse that we made out of ¾ of the garage because the cabin is rented. We have wonderful renters. They are getting a good deal and we feel we are also getting a good deal. Everyone is happy. It is just hard to be in the house.
On the ride up it started to snow by the Ohop Grange. I hate driving on snowy roads. We talked a bit about our little girl and were able to talk with only quivers in our voices and no tears. The little girl “Rowan” who was in Houston the same time as us is doing well and her Mom had emailed me so I read it just before we left the house. Her Mom feels very connected to us and asked if we could send Rowan something that was special to Kathryn that she could have. She thought maybe I might think this was odd but I don’t. After all I sleep with Kathryn’s pink baby blanket every night. Scott and I thought about it and thought the panda blanket I gave her for Christmas might be the thing. She really loved it and it would be great for snuggling in. We may also send her a panda bear. I think we need to consult with our third team member first though. Kathryn would think it was nice to give something to Rowan. She had given her a coloring book while we were there. Rowan’s Mom also mentioned that god may have felt that Kathryn should be an angel for children with cancer like Rowan. Since she had faced this battle as a child and then again as a young woman. I’m sure she is an angel. I don’t know who better than Kathryn could fit the image of an angel. She also mentioned “odor of sanctity.” This is an odor that holy people put out. That may be the sweet smell I smell and that means that Kathryn would be holy (an angel).
We didn’t get up here until 12:30. We stopped by our place to get our ski clothes and equipment. We were on the slopes around 1:15. We have met a lot of people at White Pass mainly through Richard. Some of the workers get a set number of guests pass and a couple of them have chosen to give their guest passes to us. We are very grateful because we weren’t really sure what we should do. We have season passes but if we don’t use them at all we can roll them over to next year. You need to ski 7 or 8 times to make the pass worth the cost. One of Kathryn’s roommates Mom works up here and said we could just have her guest passes. Then another lady that Richard has worked for said we could have her guest passes too. This was so nice of them.
Once we were on the slopes the snow was great! It was light and there was a lot of it. It snowed all day too. We met a man “Bob” at the bottom getting on the chair and skied with him all day. This is his first year being retired from teaching. There were no lines at all. In fact there were very few people. We skied run after run until our legs couldn’t take any more. We are a bit out of shape. It was so nice to be out in the cool, crisp, fresh air. It was nice to be doing something that took my mind somewhere other than thinking about missing Kathryn.
Once back at the bunkhouse I took Princess for a walk while Scott fixed a light out in the driveway. It had been pulled down when a tree fell earlier. Princess loved her walk.
Day 2 of skiing. It was a great day on the slopes. Stopped by my Mom’s on the way home and had dinner with her. That was super nice. Also stopped by my brother Mike’s and had a short but nice visit with him and his wife Dorothy.
It was tough coming home. The house is empty. We had a stack of cards and other mail to go through. I just can’t believe the outpour of love and support we have received. I received a beautiful Panda necklace today in the mail. The words in the cards are so touching. I was brought to tears. Scott goes up to Kathryn’s room every time he comes home from anywhere. He talks to her. Tonight I went up to her room and just laid on her bed for a while. I also talked to her and to God. I still let God know exactly how I feel. I don’t hold back when I talk to him. One of the cards I received talked about a time Jesus sat with someone as they wept and he wept too over the loss of a loved one. It said he listens and knows our words before we speak them. He sees our tears before we shed them. So, it is ok to talk to him and let him know exactly how I feel. He knows it no matter what and it just feels good to say it a loud. So I say it.
I also had to write a letter for Richard explaining why he didn’t complete his fall classes and why he has been out of school. This is for financial aid. He has been in contact with his professors the entire time. I gladly wrote the letter. I just hope they are prepared to read it. I hope they come to realize that Richard deserves the financial aid and the best brother in the world award.
He had a difficult time getting scheduled for spring quarter too. He was locked out of registration because he hadn’t completed fall quarter classes and did not attend winter quarter. It said he had to reapply to school. Wow… But he had help from David in the disability center. Let me tell you, this man has been wonderful every since Kathryn was diagnosed back in April of 2010. He has helped us with everything. I hope Richard doesn’t have any more obstacles to get past.
I just turned the TV on 9:00pm only to find one of the shows that Kathryn and I loved to watch together. If we weren’t together we would share our thoughts about it after each of us had watched it or wait to watch it together on the computer. The show is “Project Runway All Stars”. Kathryn would have loved this because it is all of the best contestants from previous shows. Even though I am exhausted, I popped some popcorn and will watch the show. I will think of Kathryn sitting next to me reminding me to regulate my eating. That means, eat one piece of popcorn at a time and do it slowly. No handfulls of popcorn stuffed in my mouth. Regulate – I say this word to myself all the time and think of Kathryn when I do. She was always helping me be better.