Yesterday I didn’t share what the Jehovah Witnesses had to say. Some people believe that people go to heaven and the bad people go to hell right away. Some people believe good people like Kathryn go to heaven and the others get stuck in limbo. Some people believe that we become spirits and hang around maybe until the judgment day. Or maybe a little combination of going to heaven and still having the ability to have the spirit hang around. The J.W. people believe that when you die you are in an unconscious state. You are asleep without thought until the judgment day. I think there are so many ways to think about it because we haven’t experienced it. The J.W. had scriptures they read to support their theory and yet I think there are other scriptures that could support some of the other theories too. It is a difficult thing, the bible, because it wasn’t written in the language that we are all use to. Everything they said made sense to me but it didn’t explain the smell I smell. Well I just thought I would share. Maybe this will make everyone think about it. I just don’t know for sure. I think the only thing I am willing to say I believe is that there will be a judgment day and on that day all people will be resurrected and some will end up with God and others will go to hell and at this time I will see Kathryn again. I’m not sure nor will I totally believe any one way about what happens between death and the judgment day. But I do keep smelling that sweet smell and it must be something related to Kathryn.
Today I woke up and did a very brave thing. I got on the scale. Bad choice or maybe an it’s about time choice. Yes, the stress has changed my weight for the higher level. Not as bad as back in 1999 but still it is up there. So I had yogurt for breakfast. That was a good start. Not so bad the rest of the day either and a nice walk. Tomorrow up early and doing some exercising. I will have to buy new clothes in a not so nice size if I don’t watch it.
I thought I was doing pretty good today until I was in a meeting. I was listening and asking some questions and then all of a sudden I realized that I had just missed a huge part of the conversation. I must have zoned out for about 10-15 minutes. Scott didn’t even realize. I came back in on the tail end of the topic so I had some idea of what was just discussed and had put it together pretty well myself. But in the end I had to ask Scott what was said to make sure I had put it together correctly. I don’t know where I went during this time of blank but I wasn’t there. I think I was thinking about Kathryn. This was kind of scary.
I read a comment tonight and my young friend had a call from her doc which said it looks like the chemo is working. To me those are wonderful words. It gave me goose bumps and made me cry tears of joy. I hope and pray for her to come through this. I know too many people fighting cancer right now and really in serious situations. I hate cancer! It is taking too many beautiful young people. As I talked to someone today they said it was a blessing when a mother had died. She was older 86 and very ill. It is a blessing when someone finally gets to leave a painful and difficult situation but when they are young 3, 21, 29, 38 or 42 it is not a blessing it is a tragedy. Those numbers are significant and represent real ages of people dealing with serious cancer situations and death as the 21 represents Kathryn. Don’t take life for granted! What’s worse than cancer is an instant, unexpected death. The here today and now gone. In my opinion that would be worse. Or the unknown. I was watching something on TV and I couldn’t imagine being the parent of a missing child never knowing what happened. Or the missing child that is finally found dead and they tell you that your child was beat and other things. So, I am grateful that Kathryn died peacefully by my side with loved ones all around. I’m always trying to find some good in this situation and that would be it.
Good news today too! Matt’s Mom is already getting feedback from her letter she sent out for donations to Camp Goodtimes. This is very exciting. We also received some more donations for camp. Camp is such a great place. I’m so glad Scott and I really pushed Richard and Kathryn to go. They have loved it every since the first day they went.