T-shirts are in 5-19-13

T-shirts are in 5-19-13

Good Morning,

Normally I write little notes throughout the week but I just didn’t even have time for that this week.

It’s been an emotional week for me.  I think Mother’s Day (even though I had a wonderful day) still made me miss Kathryn and that mother daughter connection.  I have found myself crying a lot more than I have in the past three weeks.  I haven’t gone into Kathryn’s room for a long time too.  I mean months.  I only cry when I go in there so I don’t go in.  I know I need to organize and dust in there but I haven’t.  I do have a goal of cleaning her room by the end of the next weekend.  Maybe Scott will help me and it will go better for me.  He is very comfortable in her room.  He talks to her while he feeds her fish and waters her plants.  He puts his hand on her box of ashes and feels her spirit.  He has always been a very spiritual guy.  Very sensitive and connected.

I have probably been a bit more emotional because my little friend Rowan isn’t doing very well.  The doctors can’t agree if a shunt will help her gain back her mobility.  She is having a difficult time swallowing and the story goes on in a familiar way.  Too familiar…  and this makes me sad.  I have spent every second that I am not working or totally engaged in something praying for Rowan.  Once again it is hard to understand why children go through this.  Why do parents who love their child have to go through this too?  If you are a person who prays, please pray for Rowan.  Pray that God will take this disease from her body and give her health.  Pray for her family to give them strength.  They have faith and plenty of it.  They just need God’s mercy and healing power to come their way. 

I have also been asked to speak at the Lakewood Relay for life on the 31^st at the Luminaria Ceremony.  I was a bit hesitant but said yes.  I know that I need to do this to help spread hope.  Kathryn would want me to speak.  I actually do enjoy doing it  and speaking about Kathryn helps keep her spirit alive. 

The water shoes have come in for the kids at camp.  Remember that the Durham’s have arranged for each child at Camp Goodtimes to receive a mess bag with a pair of water shoes along with a Panda pin.  There will also be a card attached that explains why they are receiving the shoes.  I will be working on this card today.  This is a very exciting and wonderful project the Durham’s have taken on.  They have done it because they love Kathryn and also wanted to do something to support her love of camp.  I would say they have really done a fabulous job!  Thank you so very much!

The Kathryn “Panda” Bradley shirts should have arrived on Friday to everyone. I got my box and was excited to see them.  I really like how the tribute to Kathryn turned out.  I plan on wearing mine this week to school.  On Monday, well probably Tuesday, I will stop by the t-shirt store and see exactly how we did on raising money for Camp through the t-shirt sales.  I know of people who already want to order more or their first one so I will talk to Randy about doing another set of dates for the store.  I will keep you posted on this.  Let me know if you are interested in buying a t-shirt or know of someone who would like to buy one.  This helps me get an idea of what to tell Randy.

Another good thing… I finished painting our bedroom-bathroom area yesterday.  This has been a huge project but it is all done now.  There are five different colors in the room if you include the ceiling.  It sounds like a lot but two shades of brown and two shades of blue or teal.  And it is a huge space.  I hung one of Kathryn’s art pieces on one of the teal walls and it really looks great!

I also saw the PA about my upcoming surgery.  She really shot me down as far as when and what I can do.  She said, I could not go to Bellingham on the 15^th for Bee’s graduation.  This made me think that maybe I should put it off.  Bee is like a daughter to us and missing her graduation is not good.  I told Scott her had to go without me to be our family rep.  I will also be very limited in Hawaii when we go on the 6^th of July.  I only get to go if everything goes well.  My student who gave me all of the books doesn’t want me to leave either.  But she understands.  I would put this off but I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to go to work at the start of the year in the fall if I do the surgery after Hawaii.  The Doctor and I discussed this and agreed that the earlier date would be best for this reason.  So June 3^rd will be the date.  A friend of mine wrote and told me her husband had his hip replaced by the same surgeon just a few years ago and he is very happy with the results.  My cousin (who is in the medical field) told me that he is one of the best hip doctors around.  This is all very encouraging.  I will just get it done and over with.  Then my leg will not feel like it is falling apart.  I will not be in constant pain.  Yeah!  And who knows, I may heal very quickly.  Like Scott said, I am younger than most people having this surgery and in good shape.  What normally happens may be very different for me and in a positive way.  I agree, I’m not one to be held down.

And yet another good thing.  Richard passed his West-E test.  This is a test that you have to pass to become a teacher.  It is a test geared toward your field, so his test was all upper math.  He said he took his time and read every question carefully.  He is glad to have this done and over with.  He is working hard this quarter finishing the last of his college classes.  He is all set up to student teach at Seahome High School in Bellingham.  He is very happy with this placement.  He’s going to be a great teacher.

Have a fabulous day and week!

Mother's Day 2013

Mother’s Day 2013

The other day we were reminded of a funny situation with Kathryn.  I had made a milk shake and we were at the table.  I asked Scott if he wanted a long spoon for his to keep it stirred.  At first he said no and then he said I better have one.  I don’t want to end up like Kathryn did with her shake.  Well, she was drinking her shake (not with a straw) and you know how shakes will get clumpy when they sit for a little bit.  Her shake got clumpy and she didn’t stir it before she brought it up to take a sip.  A big clump came out and just covered her with shake.  It was so funny.  We all laughed about it.  She was a good sport and didn’t get upset.

The Durham’s have been working on a project for camp to honor Kathryn.  They have ordered water shoes for every child and they will come in a net bag with a panda pin on each one.  The shoes are bright colors and so are the bags.  They are a perfect representation of Kathryn. This wonderful family has been so supportive of camp – it is amazing.  Again Kathryn has inspired others to do great things.

I also received some sad news about our little friend Rowan.  The new spot in her brain is increasing.  She has lost some of her physical abilities.  Her parents are now using a stroller and she doesn’t use her arms like she use to.  They are having a shunt put in to release fluid and this should help bring back her physical abilities.  However that new spot in the brain is concerning.  Please pray for Rowan.  She is the sweetest little girl and the only child of Rebecca and Chuck. 

I have this one student who is a bit different.  She talks to me about things from time to time.  She wrote me a nice note the other day about appreciating me for the things I have done for her.  Her note was quite funny actually.  Anyhow she reads like crazy.  I asked her if she had any ideas of what I should read while I am laid up after my hip surgery.  She came in the next day and said I should talk to the librarian.  Then on Friday she came in before school with this black garbage bag and she sits it on a desk and starts opening it.  She pulls out all of these books and tells me about them.  There were more books than I have read in my entire life!  I brought about half of them home.  I hope I can read enough of them to at least let her know that I appreciated her efforts.  It will be a challenge. 

One of my co-workers stopped by my room after school.  He checks on me periodically to see how I am doing.  We talked about faith and how mine has increased not decreased with Kathryn’s passing.  I have this new inner feeling of peace.  I know that God has Kathryn and she is in a safe place.  I can’t help but think he took her to keep her from being harmed on this Earth.  We talked about people who have children but don’t take care of them and how people get pregnant and don’t want their child.  I told him about a student that I had at Stadium who was pregnant and her boyfriend was in prison.  She was going to become a foster child and live with his mom and the baby would too.  I asked if this was really the life she wanted for herself and her child.  I told her that I had a good job and my own home and I still felt like I couldn’t give enough to my child. I told her that once you become a parent and you love your child with all of your heart you will want to do everything to give your child the best life.  We talked more and I told her that there were many couples out there that wanted to have a baby but just weren’t able to.  She was only 17 and needed to finish school and build a life for herself.  She came to me later and said she adopted the baby out.  She and the family were keeping in contact.  She was very happy with her choice. 

My co-worker and I talked about tithing.  I must admit I haven’t been good about this.  I have given but not consistently or enough.  He told me that he had been in dept and was really struggling to make it once his wife stopped working to take care of their child.  He felt he needed to tithe but didn’t know what to do since he didn’t have any money to give.  He started to give free piano lessons to one or two children each year that didn’t have the funds to pay.  This became his form of tithing.  In one year he was caught up on his bills.  I told him how Kathryn was concerned with her treatment costing so much.  She was worried about the money.  I told her, “Kathryn, I don’t know how it happens but money happens.  Some how it will be here and everything will be just fine.  So, you just think about taking care of yourself and getting better.  Don’t worry about money because it will happen.”  It did take care of itself.  We had many people help us through this and I didn’t’ have to worry about money and neither did Kathryn.  Thank you to all and God. 

I also said I guess Scott and I are tithing in this manor too.  We gave thousands this year to the Wine Auction in support of Camp Goodtimes.  Scott has been helping his friend out who has Parkinson’s.  He bought him a computer, helps him with his art supplies, pays for him to go to yoga and just this weekend took him to Bend Oregon for a luau.  His friend is pretty much stuck at home so going to this luau was really special.  Scott set it up to pick him up on Friday and stay over night in Bend.  They went out to one of the lady’s houses for dinner on Friday night.  She is one of Russell’s friends from Hawaii.  On Saturday they went to Mt Bachelor for the luau.  There they saw several old friends from Hawaii.  One of these friends was Gerry Lopez (a very famous surfer).  He wrote a book.  He had one copy in the car and went and got one for Scott’s friend.  He signed it too.  Scott’s friend was beaming.  This was a great day for him and for Scott.  I can see in Scott’s eyes just how important this was for him to do this for his friend.  Scott is a good man and very giving.  He is so very thoughtful and I am very lucky to have him in my life.  When you do something for others your heart fills with warmth and your whole being is filled with joy. 

Today is Mother’s Day.  The best thing I ever did in my life.  Becoming a Mom was so important to me.  I had to go through a lot to get there but I have two beautiful children.  Richard and Bee have invited us up for lunch.  My Mom and Bee’s Mom will also be there.  It should be a nice day.  I’m looking forward to seeing the two of them.  We do talk to Richard every day.  One of us talks to him each day.  It has been great to have him share his lesson plans with me.  He will make a fine teacher.

To all of you Mother’s – Have a wonderful day!

And to all of you children – Thank you for making our lives so full of love and happiness. You make us proud.

One year and three months 5-2-13

One year and three months 5-2-13

The Kathryn “Panda” Bradley store closed this week.  We may have another run depending on how things went.  I may buy a bunch and sell them myself.  I’m excited to get my own t-shirts and start wearing them.   I would have been wearing some but the few that we have are either too small or way too big.

My trainer Rosey and I have become friends over this time that she has been working with me.  We were talking about Kathryn and how tiny she was and she wants to see a picture.  I’m going to share her Senior Prom picture with her.  She looks so adorable.  I made the dress that is hot pink and short.  She tried it on so many times as I made adjustments.  Of course there wasn’t a pattern that was her size so adjustments had to be made.  I was always afraid that I wouldn’t get it right but Kathryn was always so positive that it would be perfect.  Every time I made something for her she had no doubts that it would be just what she wanted.  I also made her date a tie to match her sash.  The tie was harder than the dress.  I’ve shared this prom picture with you so you can see what I am talking about.  And those shoes had to be ordered.  It is so hard to find tiny high heels.  When we talked about her cancer I said that it gave us so many good things.  She said it is so good that you can find the positive in this.  Kathryn’s death was the ultimate low in my life but I know that I will see her again and I know that she believed that she had a wonderful life.  She seemed so fearless.  My students and I were talking and death came up and I said that I wasn’t afraid to die.  At that very moment in time I honestly could say and could really feel it in my heart and soul that I had no fear of death.  I don’t think I ever had that feeling before.  Death is just the beginning.

I took pictures for our school yearbook at the volleyball game this week.  I was sitting there just snapping away when this older man asked me if I had a daughter out there.  I told him that I was a teacher taking pictures for the yearbook.  He talked to me the whole time.  Of course he asked if I had children.  Of course Kathryn’s death came up.  I don’t mind sharing because I always get to share about what a wonderful girl she was too.  That always makes me feel good.  He also asked how my son was doing.  I said, "He is real quiet about it."  I almost started to cry.  Kathryn wanted us all to go to a counselor before she died.  Richard and I both went and saw her counselor.  I knew Richard wasn't impressed and neither was I.  Later on this same woman let Kathryn down too.  I don't think Richard will ever seek help from a counselor.  I did and the one I saw was very good.  I truly believed she helped me get through a rough spot.

The second day I saw Rosey this week she shared with me that her son (2 years old) has eczema so bad that he has lost hair where he scratches and he leaves a pile of dead skin in his car seat when she takes him out of it.  She had tried everything.  She had taken him to 3 doctors through the clinic that they go to.  She has read about it and talked with other Mom’s in the same situation on the Internet.  The poor girl. Her eyes were welling up as we talked.  I told her she really needed to see a dermatologist.  She said she couldn’t get in for weeks.  They haven’t been sleeping at night as the little guy wakes up crying.  She sent me a text Friday while I was at school that she didn’t sleep all night but they got an appointment for 2:15 that day.  They were given 5 prescriptions.  I sure hope something works for the little guy.

Thursday night I was tutoring a young lady and I noticed her lime green finger nail polish.  I had done Kathryn’s nails for her in the hospital.  She had picked out a lime green.  Kathryn had long beautiful nails.  She kept them looking great all of the time.  I tried to keep this up for her.  She and I were talking about our nails one time and her problem was that her nails grew too fast.  She had to cut them all the time.  My problem, well, not the same.  My nails peel off, crack and don’t grow very fast.  Kathryn had nails like her two Great Grandmas.  My Grandma Peggy and Scott’s Grandma Hildar.  Both were our Father’s Mothers.  I had to take off the polish on a couple of Kathryn’s fingers for the oxygen monitor.  The guys at the mortuary repainted them nicely for her viewing.  I also painted her tiny little toes just a few days before she passed.  Sparkly Blue – polish from her cousin Emily.

Scott and I have been spending our evenings out on the front porch watching the sun change the color of the sky.  We talk and share about our days.  It’s been really nice.  Our lives are taking on a new life and it feels good.  We are becoming the couple that we were at one time.  There has been so much junk in our lives that it is nice to have peace once again.

Thursday marked on of those days.  I had stopped thinking about the time as it just goes too fast.  I’ve been trying to just remember the good times that I had with Kathryn.  Every day there is a memory to behold and every day I think about her.  But Scott said something like it was another Thursday.  I knew just what he meant.  Kathryn passed on a Thursday.  It wasn’t just a Thursday I said.  It was also the 2^nd.  Kathryn passed on Thursday the 2^nd of February.  This last Thursday, May 2^nd, made it One year and 3 months.  It just doesn’t seem right. 

I think about life all of the time.  Scott was talking about cars that we have had and ones that his track buddies have.  He had been to the track on Friday and was telling me about the people and the cars.  He said something about Richard and the RSA. Richard drove at the track one day in our RS America (a Porsche) and on his way home he didn’t make the turn as he hit gravel and slid into a stop sign.  He didn’t know what to do.  He called and Scott just tolda him to head home.  Oh my goodness.  The state patrol pulled him over down the road a few miles and gave him all kinds of garbage.  He had long hair at the time and was driving a fast sporty racecar.  The patrol told him he was on drugs and went on and on and gave him a few tickets. He won’t even let Richard drive home.  We had to drive out and get him and the car.  It’s something we laugh at because it was so ridiculous and it was all thrown out in court.  But I was thinking that Richard has had a pretty good life.  Both of my kids have had a good life.  We had done a lot of things as a family.  They have had many experiences that other children will never have.  They have been well loved and taken care of yet taught to take care of themselves.  They were given independence and they were able to spread their wings and fly in their own direction.  With the guidance we gave early on they were able to make good choices.  Do I sound proud?  Well, I am.  My kids are my greatest accomplishment in my life.  I’m so proud of the people they have become.  They both have the spirit!  The I can do anything spirit.  Richard has learned to handle things so calmly and just rolls with it.  He has a hard quarter of school right now.  He is extremely busy with some work that really isn’t up his alley.  But he will get it done.  He was also chosen to work at a high school in Bellingham next year for his student teaching.  He is excited about this.

Next weekend is Mother’s Day.  My dear son called me a week ago and invited me up to Bellingham for Mother’s Day Brunch or Lunch.  My Mom will be going too.  It will be a nice day.  Bee’s Mom will be there too.  Richard and Bee will be cooking for us.   They are great in the kitchen.  Scott was invited down to Bend Oregon for a Hawaiian Luau.  You may not know this famous surfer Jerry Lopez but he is the one putting this on.  Scott is going because his friend Russell was invited.  Russell has Parkinson’s and Scott wanted to make sure Russell was able to go so he will be helping Russell get around.  Scott will also be happy to see all of these guys that he use to surf with.  A surf club reunion!

That’s all folks – Have a fabulous Day and enjoy this Beautiful weather.

Graduation 2013

Graduation 2013

Oh those cute Mini Coopers.  Kathryn always wanted one.  They remind me of her each time I see one.  So small and cute just like her.  I can always picture her driving one or standing next to one.

I had an appointment with a Hip Doctor.  I had scheduled one for another doctor but he wasn’t available until the 14^th of May.  So I did a bit of searching and found one that is in the same orthopedic office as my ex-neighbor.  This doctor was available on Wednesday the 24^th.  I took the appointment.   I talked to Scott about it and he said that is Paige’s Dad.  Paige is a friend of Kathryn’s.  They met at SOTA (School of the Arts) where Kathryn went to school 10^th through 12^th grade.  When I met the doctor I told him who I was.  He remembered Kathryn so well.  He said they always enjoyed having Kathryn over to their house.  Then he told me that he would be going out of town in two weeks until the first of June to go to Paige’s graduation in Massachusetts.  Kathryn would have been graduating this spring and starting her adult life.  Paige wants to work with nonprofit organizations.  I told her Dad that I would think Kathryn had some influence on that and he thought maybe she did.  Paige was on Kathryn’s Relay for Life Team for three years.  I saw her at Relay last year too.  She has grown into a wonderful young lady.  Kathryn would have been asking the hospital about working as a child life specialist.  She probably would have gained employment at Children’s.  With the new cancer-building opening, there will be positions to fill.  I watched the telethon about it last night.  She would probably have found someone to room with in Seattle.  I would have wanted her to find employment in Tacoma at Mary Bridge and maybe she would have.  Well, I found it ironic that I should switch doctors and get Paige’s Dad.  We chatted for a while.  He’s a very nice man and very understanding.  I trust he will do a good job on my hip replacement.

I also received some news about Rowan this week.  I was not excited to hear what is going on.  She has a new spot showing up in her brain.  It could be necrosis from radiation.  This would be the best as long as it doesn’t get any worse.  This is when the brain tissue dies from radiation.  It can happen years down the road.  They say it never comes back but I have read where dead brain tissue has come back or new cells have grown.  The other thing it could be is a cancerous lesion.  This would not be good at all.  That would mean the lesion is made up of different types of cells that are resistant to her current treatment.  That is what happened in Kathryn’s case.  This is what can happen with Glio’s.  They are smart little beasts that change their make up when they come back.  You never know what will work on them.  If surgery isn’t an option then the doctors don’t have any idea of what course of action to take.  Rowan’s tumor is on her brain stem and no doctor will operate.  The final one that Kathryn had was also too close to the brain stem so surgery was not an option.  Please pray for Rowan.  She is the sweetest little girl and has the nicest parents.  They deserve a beautiful life together.

Our friend who had all of the seizures went home on Friday.  She is a fighter and is recovering.  She will do great!

Yesterday (Saturday) Scott and I went to a tech session for the Porsche Club in the morning.  It was nice to see people I haven’t seen for a while.  I was talking to one man and Kathryn came up in the conversation.  He said Kathryn was the best child he has ever met.  He was so sincere.  He has a child too but he said that she was the best and made that clear.  He really thought a lot of her and thought she was truly a wonderful person, the best.  I have to agree.  When Kathryn was a live I don’t think I realized just how wonderful she was.  I was her Mom always working on directing her to be a good person.  I realize now that she did become that wonderful person long, long ago.  I didn’t have to work very hard at all to help her develop into this person.  She was a gift from Heaven and she was Heavenly.  I guess our Hawaiian friend who gave her the name Kahiwalani (Gift from Heaven) knew who she was even as an infant. 

Richard has also grown so much.  He is working in a couple of classrooms.  He even volunteered to work with the “Bad Kids.”  He said, “They aren’t really bad, they are just like I was in school.”  They are getting their work done.  He said they are just from unfortunate situations with families that aren’t like ours.  He said that people in the Ed classes don’t understand that these kids don’t have families that make sure they do their homework.  They don’t have those nagging parents like they all did.  He said that if he didn’t have Scott and me as parents he would have turned out a whole lot different.  A couple of the college students in one of his classes did a research project on who has the most influence on kids.  He told me that I would be happy to know that I was right when I said it is the parents that make or break a kid.  Their research found that the parents are the most influential people in a kid’s life.  Well it's obvious!  We as teachers are only a tiny part of their lives.  Yes, I have influence kids to do better despite their parents.  Yes, I have talked to students about adopting out babies, not committing suicide, doing what is right for themselves, working hard to be successful, leaving your friends behind sometimes because they will drag you down.  Sharing my own stories about life and how to not get pulled the wrong direction.  Both Scott and I could have been in lots of trouble if we didn’t have parents that taught us right form wrong and the hard work is what it takes to be successful.  To be proud of your work and to give to others.  My favorite saying is, "Be the Bigger Person."  I have used this line a lot with both Richard and Kathryn.  That means to give in if it saves you from an argument.  It means to help others.  Some times it means to not get what you want to make someone else happy. 

Richard is also going to a big seminar for Siblings of children with life threatening illnesses.  Bee will be going with him.  He explained to his professor that he would have to miss part of the class that day.  Richard made arrangements for things to work out the best he could for his work and his partners work before talking to the professor.  The professor said he would still lose the points.  Richard asked if he would still pass the class.  The professor said yes.  Richard will be missing class.  This is very important to him.  He can really be a positive influence for kids in this situation.  The same situation he lived with since he was 12.  Bee also knows this position in life.  I’m glad he is choosing to go to the sibling seminar even if his grade will drop.  He knows what is important to him and what will help him help others.  He’s a great person and I am so proud to call him my son.

The Kathryn “Panda” Bradley store closes May 2^nd.  So order your t-shirts.  Remember all proceeds go to Camp Goodtimes West.

www.baysidecustomstores.com

Make it a great day!

A lot Going on! 4-20-13

A lot Going on!  4-20-13

We had a nice little birthday party for Scott at our neighbor’s restaurant in Lakewood.  Great food and friends.  Richard and Bee came down and joined us.  I love seeing them. 

Monday  (April 15^th) Taxes are done!  Wow, It took an hour and a half with the taxman.  I had everything organized and all ready to go.  Just think I hadn’t spent all of those hours organizing it would have taken over two hours and that would be a lot more money too! 

Monday night I was walking up the stairs to go to bed.  As I walked I thought about Kathryn and asked her to come visit me again.  Show yourself to me or come to me in a dream.  It brings me so much peace and comfort.  Then I said, “Don’t show yourself right now,” I may get scared and fall down the stairs.  When I went to bed I prayed that I would see Kathryn or dream about her.  And I did.  In the last dream she was the age that she was when she left us.  This time she was younger, like 2.  She and I were doing things together.  We were playing and making cookies and different things.  There was no way I was going to leave her side.  I knew she was there just for a visit.  I even told Scott in my dream that I was spending every second with her that I could as she could be gone in an instant.  I held her and rocked her.  I touched her arms and little fingers.  It was so special and comforting.  I woke up happy and feeling satisfied.  It was a warm and wonderful dream.  I hope I continue dreaming of Kathryn forever. 

On Tuesday or so I got this notice on FB.  It was from Richard.  Richard thinks my FB was hacked or something.  Anyhow it was from messages from back in January of 2012.  That was when Kathryn was in the hospital. I thought I would share it.  Arranging Visitors 1/2/12
 Kathryn is feeling pretty good today. She had a great sleep. Not having a bunch of drugs in her seemed to help her sleep. Bob the RT turned down the ventilator for a while but is now taking a rest. They will continue to do this and try to get her to the point of no vent pressure. This of course will be closely monitored. She is scared about not being able to breath. She went through some real bad trauma when they removed the tube and she fears this happening again.
 She finally allowed some friends to stop by this morning as they are driving back up to Bellingham and won’t be around for a while. She asked them questions and had some good smiles for them. She even kind of laughed just a quiet laugh. Another friend is on her way in right now. This is good for her spirits. We are happy she is allowing some friends to come by. Doctors are still saying a new cuff on Tuesday to allow her to talk. Typing on the computer is working for now.









        

I thought it was really strange that this should all of a sudden be on my FB page.

Maybe it was Kathryn messing with it and reminding me that she is here.  It was a good post and made me feel good.  We had hope and could see the positive. 

I have been talking to the t-shirt people.  They finally have the shirts where you can see the designs.  Let a cure rain down still doesn’t show all that great but the others do.  When you click on a shirt a separate photo comes up of the design.  Here is the website again.  I guess I put an extra letter in it last time.  We haven’t sold enough to make a lot of money for Camp so please consider buying on and passing on the notice to others.  The store closes on May 2^nd.  The store is named Kathryn “Panda” Bradley.

www.baysidecustomstores.com

My Mom was down on Wednesday.  She spent the night.  I wish I could have spent more time with her.  I had conferences that evening so I didn’t get home until 8pm.  We still had a good time with the little time we had.  She is so fun to be with.  I don’t think I realized this as a kid.  That’s probably because she was being a Mom and taking care of things.  But I see it all now and enjoy her so much.

I also received some bad news this week about myself.  I was told on Thursday that I have severe osteoarthritis.  Not just a little and not just some but severe.  I was told I had a lot of bad stuff going on in there (meaning my right hip).  Basically the cartilage is falling apart.  I’m thinking about hip replacement.  I don’t want to take a bunch of drugs that “may cause lymphoma, lung cancer and all kinds of other stuff.”  You know if they may cause, they have caused in the past with other people.  I’m not looking for a band-aid but a more permanent fix.  Not afraid of surgery so I should get this done.  I haven’t talked to my doctor yet as he was out of town and will be back on Monday.  I’ve only been reading.  I don’t have time to mess around with this not being able to walk or run.  I need to move freely!  Still going to the gym as I have a goal to make by July.  I’m getting there and will not let this get in the way. 

Handling health issues is hard but when you think about how much others have gone through and have come out of it fine or even better I can’t think of this as anything more than just a little hick-up that I will get rid of.  Our friend is in the hospital because of 30 or more seizures over a two or 3-day period. It took 5 to 6 days to get them completely under control.  Her strength and positive attitude are inspiring.  Now she is doing rehab to get back to walking.  I will never forget watching Kathryn have a seizure.  It is the most helpless feeling.  There is nothing you can do.  It’s hard to think a person having a seizure let alone 30 or more in such a short time frame.  Please pray for our young friend.  She also has multiple myeloma.  Thanks to her first cancer treatments at 13 she now has this other stuff.  Yes, cancer treatment causes other cancers and other diseases.  It took Kathryn!

My trainer at the gym made the comment about me meeting a lot of really amazing people.  Yes, cancer has brought a ton of amazing people into my life.  It took one amazing person from me but it also brought a lot of amazing people into my life too.  I told her that the people who deal with cancer are positive strong people.  The people who volunteer at cancer events are the most warn and giving people you will ever meet.  Then I went on to say that we have met people at the track too who are the friendliest and most wonderful people too.  We have met a lot of people who are caring and loving.  We are blessed to know all of these people. I’m talking about you!!!

Richard is busy teaching classes as he finishes his last quarter at Western before student teaching.  I’m sharing a project with him that I do in class each year.  Kids love it because they get to eat in class.  But the great thing is that they all do the project and they really get it.  It’s is what I do with my lowest level math kids.  It draws interest and gets them involved.

Have a great day!  Be thankful for all that you have, friends, family and health. 

Wine Auction and Kathryn’s Return 4-13-13

Wine Auction and Kathryn’s Return 4-13-13

Last weekend we helped out with the Wine Auction for Camp Goodtimes.  We headed up there on Friday to help get everything organized for a quick set up the next evening.  I help trimming flowers and making arrangements.  There was a lot of volunteers so it went pretty fast.  I wrote a ton of thank you cards, even had to take some back to the hotel to finish.  We went to Red Robin for dinner when we were done.  We stayed at the W Hotel in downtown Seattle Friday and Saturday night.

Saturday was pretty relaxing.  We actually slept in until maybe 6:30 or 7.  That’s late for us.  Scott had bought a bow-tie for the auction but we didn’t know how to tie it.  The front desk girls all gave it a try.  I actually had it the night before but wasn’t sure that it was right.  At lunch our server brought us a video and then I got it just fine.  Reading the directions and following still pictures just wasn’t enough.  But once I watched the video I had it.  It looked real good too.  We both took turns putting on our fancy clothes to see what would work best.  It was fun.

We headed out to the Wine Auction around 5:15 to help with the set up.  When we got there I was told that we couldn’t set up until 6:00 and we had all planned on 5:30.  That means we would have 30 minutes to set the entire deal up.  There were probably 20 to 25 tables for the silent auction and all of the auction items to set up.  There were dinner tables to set with the center pieces.  Thank goodness for over 80 volunteers who all made this happen in 30 minutes.  Richard and Bee were volunteers that night.  They spent a little time with us later in the evening. 

At the dinner there were speakers.  One was a young man speaking about scholarships.  He was about Kathryn’s age and he too had a medulloblastoma like Kathryn did when she was 8.  He seemed to be doing fine.  There was also a video of a family.  Their young son also had a medulloblastoma.  I think he was only 16 months when he was diagnosed with this.  The video spoke more about the sibling (the older daughter) and how she was lost in all of this cancer stuff.  The little boy with cancer needed more care and took more of the parent’s time.  This is what happens.  She said once her daughter was able to attend camp it brought her back.  Camp gave them back their daughter who had been lost for all of these years.  Camp gave her a place where there were kids like her.  Kids who had siblings that were going through cancer.  Kids who may feel a bit left out because their sibling is getting all of the attention and Mom and Dad are worried and consumed with getting the sick child well.

As I watched this video I looked at my brother (Pat) sitting across the table from me.  He was watching it and I was crying.  I thought about how he took Richard under his wing for that year.  When he asked what he could do back in 1999 to help, all I could think of was Richard.  I told him that Richard would get lost in all of this cancer stuff.  I asked him to take Richard under his wing and teach him how to ski.  So he did!  One day that fall he went over to my Mom and Dad’s house and grabbed Richard.  He said, “Come on Richard, let’s go.”  Where are we going?  Shopping!  He took him to the store and bought him skis, boots, poles, ski pants, goggles, gloves, a helmet, a jacket and anything else that was needed for skiing.  Once ski season started he took Richard up skiing every weekend.  The first weekend Pat came back and told me that Richard was a natural.  He had skied from the top of the mountain.  I couldn’t have been more proud.  As we all know skiing is Richard’s love.  I’m forever grateful to my brother for giving Richard skiing.  He had given me skiing back when I was 12 too.  He took me on a ski trip and taught me how to ski.  He’s a good brother.  Richard wrote a paper about it in school.  He wrote about how grateful he was to Pat to give so much to him.  He also wrote about how he hopes to be able to give back in the same way.  Richard gives every year as he volunteers at camp.

As Kathryn neared the end of her life; she asked me, “Mom what can we give Richard this time?”  We gave him skiing the first time.  I told her that the skiing is all that Richard needed and if I could find something to give him I would.  When she did pass away we did give something to Richard from Kathryn.  He always wanted a Volkswagon.  He had an old Audi at the time and Kathryn had an Audi wagon.  We sold both and the money plus a little more went to buy Richard his dream car.  He loves that little car.  I think Kathryn would be so happy to know that we did this as a gift to her brother from her.  You may remember that car was totaled around Chritsmas on his way home.  He bought another one just like it only newer.

This week Scott turned 60.  We went out for dinner and had a nice evening, just the two of us.  Tonight (Saturday 13th) we are going to a Chinese Restaurant with 14 other people.  We use to do this for his birthday years ago.  Our neighbor owns the restaurant and I know she will make the evening perfect.  She loves it when we come in.

I had a dream about Kathryn Thursday night.  It was so real.  You remember I have prayed and prayed for her to come back.  I have also thought over and over about how we would handle her return.  Well, besides being totally thrilled there would be all of the logistics.  Drivers license, Social Security Number, completing school and transcripts.  In my dream Kathryn was with me and we were checking these things out.  Her driver’s license was still valid.  Her credit card still active.  She made a comment about the card still working just like she was never gone.  I guess it wouldn’t be a big deal.  We would just go on like she was never gone.  Wouldn’t that be great!  I loved this dream.  We were having such a good time.  She was home where she belonged.  She was with me and we being us.  Us…. yep we were us.  We belonged together.  She was the best daughter ever.

Kathryn’s t-shirt store.  It didn’t go off as well as I had hoped.  A few mistakes.  The first was that it didn’t open on the day that it should have.  Then the photos of the shirts are so hard to see.  I have posted better pictures on Facebook and sent out emails with them.  I will talk to the owner on Monday and see if we can use my photos instead of what they have online.  The writing that explains what the t-shirts are from and for what was put on the Panda Heart t-shirt and should be on the others not that one.  And then I had discussed a price that was far less than they are listed for.  We need to have a long conversation.  Oh, and the store name was listed as Camp Goodtimes West rather than Kathryn Panda Bradley.  If  they change the price and you already bought one I will make sure you get a price adjustment.  Well, the store is open at

www.baysidecustomstores.com 

register – get your confirmation email – go back to the store – under organizations find either Camp Goodtimes West or Kathryn Panda Bradley.  I don’t know when it will change to Kathryn Panda Bradley.

I need to get going.  I have things to do around the house and then off to the Daffodil Parade in Puyallup to take photos of our marching band.  They wanted me to be the cougar mascot but I don’t think I could do that amount of walking right now with my messed up leg.  It is better but not yet normal.

Take care,

Carol

Store will open on April 12th after Noon

There was a little communication error and the t-shirt store will open after noon on April 12th.

Feeling and Sensing Kathryn 4-5-13

Feeling and Sensing Kathryn 4-5-13

The first thing is about a pair of shoes.  Remember I had asked Kathryn before to help me find things and all of a sudden I find them.  This is true for these shoes too.  I have these great teal pumps that I really like.  I couldn’t find them anywhere.  I thought I left them in the gym locker or somewhere.  I asked Kathryn to help and I didn’t find them right away.  But, I kept having this nagging thing going on in my brain that told me to look in my closet.  If I would think about the shoes it would come to me.  I even told Kathryn a couple of times that I didn’t have time to look right now but I would look in the closet again later.  And I had looked before and I thought I was thorough.  In fact I had looked several times and I thought I had looked in every shoebox.  Then the other day there they were.  In a shoebox right in front of me.  One that I have moved several times.  I couldn’t believe it. 

So last weekend was Easter.  I thanked God for giving his only son to die for us so we could have eternal life.  I also spent the night with my Mom.  I went up on Saturday to her house.  I called before I left and I could tell she had been working way too hard.  I told her to stop and go take a nap.  She took my orders well.  When I got there she was on the couch and she sounded so much better.  We had a great time setting up for Easter and preparing food.  We laughed and had so much fun. 

Easter day was great.  I saw two of my three brothers and my nieces and nephews.  Richard and Bee showed up early, which was nice for my Mom to have them to herself for a bit.  Richard has slimmed down a lot.  He looks great! 

Scott and I can’t afford to have pros come in and redo our bedroom and bath for us so we are painting and what not.  He calls it design on a dime.  He must be watching those shows when I’m not around.  You know the do it yourself shows.  I thought about Kathryn while using the brush she used to paint her bedroom up in Bellingham in the fall of 2011.  She had to paint the entire room left-handed and she is right handed.  I thought she did a great job.  It still and always will amaze me how she was able to adapt to using her left hand so quickly when her right hand just wouldn’t cooperate.

I chatted with my neighbor the other day.  Her Dad had a heart attack in November and she is looking over his care and also her mother.  They both need someone to make sure they are eating right and getting their medications.  But as independent people it is hard for them accept her help and this makes it very hard on her.  We talked about my Dad and the care he needed.  We also talked about parents who have lost children and how so many ends up in divorce.  I think Scott and I have a much stronger bond than that.  We have been through tough times and this is really tough but we have been groomed for it and can over come this too.

We had a nice dinner out at Boathouse 19 the other evening.  The young hostess chatted a lot with us.  She wants to be a neurosurgeon.  She is very interested in the study of cells too.  She is one of our hopefuls.  We hope that she or someone will come up with ideas to stop this disease (cancer).  This young lady is so excited to get started.  I sure wish her the very best.

Ran into a man at Home Depot (a worker) with a Panda on his apron.  Little reminders of Kathryn everywhere. 

Wow, I read this article about this woman who doesn’t have time for her child.  Her career comes first.  She has someone else raising her child.  She doesn’t have dinner with her or help her get ready for bed.  She doesn’t read her bedtime stories or tuck her in at night.  She is truly missing out.  She had her child only because she thought she should have one before she was not able to.  Not so much because she wanted to love and raise a child.  No she admitted she was too self absorbed and too into her career.  She tried to write this as a warning of not to have kids when you are in your 40’s and have a career.  Well, this woman made me sick.  She should have never had a child.  You can have a career and a child but you need to put your child first.  You need to be a loving and caring parent first.  People who bring children into this world really need to think first. You should never have a child without the understanding that your child depends on you for everything.  That’s everything.  To nurture, love, teach, and share life with your child is first!

Enough on my feelings about terrible parents.  Well, I have always been upset about people who don’t care for their children the way I think they should.  First, I had an incomplete pregnancy, which broke my heart.  Then I had to go on fertility drugs to have Richard.  We went through a lot.  The same with Kathryn only it was worse.  Finally I had two beautiful children whom I loved dearly.  Then Kathryn got cancer.  Finally after 10 years I felt relaxed.  I didn’t think we would ever have to deal with it again.  Then within a year she was diagnosed with the killer GBM.  And finally it took her life.  And now I think I have a right to be really upset with these parents who can’t seem to love their children.

So I finally had an MRI of my hip.  And several x-rays (hip, pelvis and femur).  You know how they ask if you are claustrophobic?  Well, I am just a little.  I tried to crawl into our attic at our cabin to put some insulation in and I could not go completely through the opening.  Well, not with the mask on.  Once I took the mask off I was fine.  That’s why I didn’t snorkel for so many years too.  Well, as the machine started to slide back I had my eyes opened.  Bad idea!  It feels like the top of the tube is only four inches above your head but is it actually about a foot above your head.  I quickly closed my eyes.  That helped.  I was breathing very heavy.  I thought I should push the button to call the technician and almost did.  I was starting to panic.  Then I thought about Kathryn doing this so many times and so calmly.  I thought about how I would rub her feet and how that must have brought her comfort knowing that she wasn’t alone.  Then, with my eyes closed, a bright light came to me.  It was like someone had turned on lights inside of the tube.  It calmed me.  My breathing was less heavy.  I know it was Kathryn helping me out.  When I got nervous again the light came and calmed me.  She was definitely there.  After about the third time I was ok.  I focused on the music.  Towards the end I found myself crying.  Tears were rolling down my cheeks.  I wasn’t even thinking about Kathryn that moment.  I just think all of the memories came to me and I don’t know.  With Kathryn having cancer a strong bond was created.  We shared the MRI times and we always went to the gift shop or something to make the experience good.  We may have sat in the cafeteria and had coffee or something.  We had so many visits to the clinic and MRI place.  We made all of these times as well as we could.  We didn’t focus on the negative even when it did get real bad.

Kathryn is here with me.  I have felt her strong presence.  As I wrote to a friend on facebook, Death is just the beginning.  I will be with Kathryn again some day.  We will all be reunited.  We had it all when Kathryn was well.  Even when she was sick.  We had the perfect little family.  But it was taken.  But we still have the three of us.  We are tight and loving.  We are Team Bradley!

Yesterday (Thursday) we (Scott and I) drove up to Mount Vernon to pick up flowers for the Camp Goodtimes Wine Auction.  Lots of tulips!  We also dropped off boxes of donations from the Durham’s to the American Cancer Society office in Seattle on our way home.  It was a nice trip and for a worthy cause. 

I need to get going.  There are some things I need to get done before we go Seattle to help start the set up for the dinner and auction. 

Even though it is supposed to rain like crazy have a great day.  Rainy days allow us to do things inside without feeling guilty.  Rain also makes our plants grow and the grass green.  So, make it a great day.

We are setting up the t-shirt store and it will be open from April 11th through May 2nd.  The store will have four different designs that Kathryn made back in 2009 for her senior project.  All are cancer related and very creative.  There will also be a Panda design available that I created.  All proceeds will go to Camp Goodtimes.

It will be at www.baysidecustomstores.com  Once there you scroll down to the store Kathryn "Panda" Bradley.  Then you are able to look at the designs.  You may need to sign in.  Shirts are 15.99 plus shipping.  If a lot are ordered we can do it again and again to support Camp Goodtimes.  Share with everyone!